Roller Derby

I'm not a sports fan.  I don't understand most of them and they bore me.  I do kind of like hockey.  We had a hockey team for about a second a few  years ago and I really enjoyed going to the one game I made it to.  But this is Arkansas... not really hockey country. 

I have found something else I enjoy now.  Roller derby.

My sister has a friend who is into roller derby and she got my sister going to meets and eventually going to practices.  She started learning how to skate and ended up tearing up her ankle.  She's still recouping, but fully intends to get back to it when she's able.  This is really odd for me.  Growing up, my best friend and I always called my sister "White Bread."  We were more the type you would think would get into roller derby.  But my sister has been finding her inner freak.  ;)

She invited me to go to the meet they had scheduled last night.  At first I lamented the fact that I wouldn't have anyone to watch the kids and couldn't go.  She told me to bring them and she and her husband would help me with the girls.  I had been counting down the days.

We got there and the first thing I noticed was the ambulance in the parking lot and I got all excited.  In case you didn't notice the similarity between roller derby and hockey - they are both kind of violent.  People don't find this all that odd about me, even though I'm not a violent person.  I don't like to watch violent movies or wrestling or boxing.  But the hockey and roller derby kind of violence... I like it.  I can't really explain it.  Just go with it.

Now, I know you're thinking... you took your small kids?  It wasn't THAT violent.  Not any more violent than they already are towards each other.  At one point, they had found a little corner to play in and they were running in circles, tackling each other.  My sister said, "it looks like they're playing roller derby."  I thought, "hmmm... they do that at home all the time..."  Plus, they hardly watched the meet at all.

I had a blast.  It was excellent people-watching.  The meet itself kept my attention.  I understood the rules.  It was just a ton of fun. 

I just found out that there is another team close by that has a meet next weekend and I'm debating going.  I don't know if my sister would be interested and I'm not sure I would want to go alone. 

It makes me wonder... is 35 too old to be a roller derby girl?  It could be some good motivation to get this weight off.  I'm bad on skates and would probably hurt myself worse than my sister did (I broke my wrist skating when I was in elementary school, so I already have a bad track record).  But it looks like so much fun.

This week's change...

First of all, last week's change of reading to the girls more was not perfect, but much better.  Aside from tonight, when we were out and about and got home late and they were asleep almost before I turned out the light... Other than that, I tried to make sure that if I didn't read to them earlier in the day that I didn't skimp at bedtime.  Olivia even brought me a few books through out the week to read to me.  Books that we have, not books from school.  I have to admit that I do struggle with being patient when she gets stumped by a word because she goes from being so proud and confident to a very whiny "I can't do it" in 2 seconds flat.  I am trying though.

This week's change was inspired by my last post.  We have a lot of changes that need to be made in regards to just leading a healthier life and doing it one step at a time is definitely going to be the best way to go.  So - after dinner, the TV goes off and the music goes on and we dance.  Physical activity for all (except Daddy, who leaves for work right after dinner)... less TV (Olivia is most definitely an addict)... and good  Mommy and kiddo time.  And maybe we'll move straight from dance time to story time.  Try to build up to a much more structured and productive evening routine, instead of the chaos we have going on normally. 

Weighing on my mind

This is my oldest child, Olivia...

 Don't let the sweet look fool you...

Ah, yes... that's more like it

Olivia is 6.  She's very smart, very imaginative, fiesty, and (sometimes overly-)affectionate.  I love her with all my heart and soul.  But I'm worried.  I'm afraid that in that pretty little head lurks something really ugly.  I'm afraid that she's developing an eating disorder of some kind or another.

As you can see, she's healthy.  Not in a "my kid is plump, so I'm calling them 'healthy'" kind of way, she's really a healthy weight.  But she thinks losing weight is the best thing ever.

It started a few months ago when she was sick with pneumonia.  She didn't eat for a couple of days and she lost enough weight that it was visible on her.  It was only 1 or 2 pounds, but on a kiddo like her, it shows.  I was helping her get dressed one day when she started feeling better and mentioned that she had lost weight.  She went to dancing around the room, singing "I lost weight!  I lost weight!"

My jaw hit the floor.  I was horrified.  I had meant it in a negative way.  In no way was I like "Yay!  You lost weight!"  I meant it in a "you are way too skinny" kind of way.  But she was celebrating.

I gathered my wits and sat down to have a talk with her.  I deduced that a big influence on her actions was something I had never thought of as a negative influence.... weight loss product commercials.   I never thought that if she watched a Nutrisystem or Jenny Craig commercial that she would get it in her head that, no matter what, losing weight was fantastic.  I told her that losing weight if you were overweight was good, but that it was not always needed or wanted.  She doesn't need to lose weight.  It's not good for her to lose weight right now.

We're very careful about the channels the TV is on and the commercials they show if she's going to be around.  I really never in a million years thought about parental guidance for commercials...

She's mentioned it a few times here and there in the meantime and I try very hard to make sure if I'm going to talk about ME losing weight that around her I make sure to call it "getting healthy."  

The past few days, she has seemed to be preoccupied with MY weight.  I know a lot of people have gotten that slap in the face from their young child when they notice and mention their weight.  And I knew it was only time before I got my dose of that medicine.  But, boy, does it hurt.  Not only that, but you feel guilty.  And I'm just conflicted...  how do I go about losing weight without sending her the message that losing weight is good?  I know I have to focus on the healthy aspect of it all, but I'm just worried about reinforcing an anti-fat image in her.

Today she had a Daddy-date.  When they got home, he said he thinks we might have a problem on our hands.  If HE noticed it, then I know I'm not just being a worry-wort mommy.  He also said she said something "very insulting" about me, but he wouldn't tell me what it is and she was too embarrassed to repeat it.  I don't think I'm being overly-sensitive to think that it was related to my weight.

I'm feeling really awful about it tonight and I'm trying to turn it around and make it motivation to #1 - make healthy changes around here to teach her about nutrition and body image and #2 - lose weight myself.  I just feel like I'm facing a huge mountain and I'm having a hard time deciding how to climb it.  I will though... I have to.

The Dilemma

I'm torn today.  I don't want to go to work and it will mean that my husband doesn't get much sleep since the kids are out of school.  But... it's not fair for me to get to stay home when everyone else has to go to work.  I know it's not fair.  But it would make my life so much easier.

People without kids and people with older kids usually take issue with people who have kids that cannot be left alone when they have to take time off of work.  And I realize that it's not really fair.  Your home life shouldn't give you special privileges at work.  But there is just no way for it not to be an issue, unless you're lucky enough to have someone who can take care of your kids no matter what. 

I don't. 

Then, in the medical field, you have the issue that some people are vital where some are not.  I am not vital to the operation of the facility on a daily basis.  Nurses are.  But if I'm not required to come in when they are, it's not fair.  I don't have quite the sympathy on that one.  

Bill's schedule is really going to be a problem come summer.  When the girls are at home, he doesn't (or at least shouldn't) get any sleep.  That's really tough on a person.  And then I worry all the time about my sleep-deprived husband watching our kids.  Last summer I had to work half-days the last few weeks of summer break because it was becoming a BIG problem.  He'd stay in bed and sleep even after the girls got up.  They got out of the house, made huge messes.... it was not good.  And his schedule is even worse now.  He at least got home in time to sleep a few hours before they got up (or he should have been able to... sometimes he worked late) but now he wouldn't get to sleep until I get home from work and that just isn't going to work out for us.

Basically, my life would be infinitely better (aside from the fact that we would be beyond broke) if I didn't work.  If I could figure out how we could do it and not have to eat Ramen noodles and beans all week long, I really would stay home.

Ice cream, anyone?

As I mentioned before, this week's reward for the girls not losing all their marbles was a trip to the ice cream shop.  We have a fairly new place in town called Scrumdiliumptious.  Try saying that 10 times fast.  Heck, try typing it.  It's a cute little shop, with a combination theme of Harry Potter and Willy Wonka.  They had one of the Harry Potter movies playing and the girls were just entranced.  They're not really old enough for Harry Potter and it kind of freaked the girls out, but not bad enough to need to do something about it.

So much ice cream, so little time...

Isabelle and Zoe got Bubble Gum ice cream, which I found really disgusting.  First of all, I'm not a fan of blue food.  And secondly, ice cream shouldn't be bubble gum flavored, in my opinion.

 Isabelle disagrees...

Olivia had chocolate with M&Ms.  It really bothers Bill that Olivia's pronunciation of M&Ms is more like "enemas."

Whatever you call it, it's good.

I behaved and just had a single cup of espresso chip.  Bill had a monster concoction called Augustus Galoop or something like that.  It looked really good.

Better than blue ice cream anyway. 

After getting the girls all sugared up, we did something that normally induces sheer terror in Isabelle...

Workin' at the carwash.....

She loved it though.  In fact, I think it was actually her idea.  Bill pretended the carwash was a whale and we were swallowed by it.  And, because my family is gross, we traveled through the intestines and eventually got pooped out at the end.  Yeah...

They didn't lose their marbles...

All of them anyway.

We're trying out a new system to try to get the girls to behave a little better.  They start out at the beginning of the week with a jar of marbles and if they break a rule, they lose marbles.  At the end of the week, if they haven't lost all their marbles, they get a reward.  This week's reward is a trip to the ice cream shop.  Anyone who really knows my girls can probably guess that Isabelle's jar is in the middle.  She's a tough nut...  Our biggest issue this week was that we are trying to keep them out of our bed at night (and still sleep).  It's been a rough week in that department.  The first few nights, they would get up and go watch TV since they couldn't get into our bedroom.  I had to hide the TV remote and lock the playroom and threaten to take all of their marbles before I finally had a full night of sleep.  I know it will still take some time before they are used to it,  I'm trying to be patient.  Exhausted Mommy isn't naturally patient though...

I'm thinking we might change a few things up for the next week.  Maybe have them earn their marbles, but lose them if they break a rule.  It's not a perfect system just yet.  And I need to come up with a reward for next week.  I don't mind splurging on movies or ice cream every so often, but we can't do that every week.  And I think we need a big huge reward after so many consecutive nights of sleeping in their room.  Like maybe bunk beds.  They really want bunk beds, but I have two reservations.... the first being my fear that they'll fall and break something (their father broke his collarbone falling out of a bunkbed) and the second is knowing that they'll fight over who gets the top bunk.  Well, there's the third... the fact that there are 3 of them and only 2 beds.  Someone will get a normal bed and they will not be happy.  I'll figure it out somehow. 

One a different, but not really all that different note, I think I've decided what my first One Little Change will be...

I am going to make sure I sit down and read to the girls every day.  At least 2 books, and not just at bedtime.  All 4 of us love books, and I do love to read to them.  But some days I wait until bedtime and the girls are just too wound up or I'm to worn out to really get into it and I either speed read the shortest book I can find or skip story-time altogether. 

Tonight the girls started getting a little wild about 6pm, which isn't unusual for them.  They start to get tired and lose their minds.  =)  Daddy was getting upset at the noise and running, and I wasn't in the mood to have one more person adding to the chaos, so I decided to set down my crocheting and just declare Story Time.  The girls ran to get me about 10 books (not exaggerating) and piled up on the couch with me.  Isabelle got antsy after about 3 books and wandered off to play, but the other two sat through about 6 before the UPS guy dropped off a package and we got totally derailed.  Luckily he had delivered a puzzle I ordered for them.  They adore floor puzzles.  I haven't had a lot of luck with smaller puzzles with them.  I think it's that the floor puzzles are big enough for all three of them to work on it at once. 

But, back to my point... Story Time did calm the Wild Ones for a bit.  It definitely needs to be a ritual around here.

One Little Change

I followed a link on one of the blogs I follow to this blog and I love the idea.  I'm always trying to just force a bunch of change all at once, and it NEVER works.  So... I'm going to focus on one little change at a time.  I need to look over my goals and see what to begin with.  Stay tuned....