I am totally taking this idea from Katy, and linking up to siddathornton.
So... Currently I am...
READING
American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I'm hooked. It's very dark, fits in nicely with my love for Stephen King and Dean Koontz. I'm also reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It's giving me tons of ideas for changes to implement in my own life. I might write more about it later. Needless to say two EXTREMELY different books. One dark/one light. One fiction/one non-fiction. It works, though. Normally I can't read two books at once and keep them straight. =)
WRITING
Ummm.. a grocery list is about the extent of my creativity lately.
LISTENING
This week hasn't been very musical for me, and my usual hard angry rock isn't doing it for me. I listened to Jason Mraz earlier this week. I'm digging Justin Timberlake, which is very odd for me. And that Daft Punk song, that Isabelle loves, and is NOT appropriate for her to listen to but she has no idea was "getting lucky" is, so I let it slide because I'm just begging for her teacher to call me in three weeks when school starts to discuss what Isabelle is singing in class.
THINKING
I need to get focused again. The past few weeks have been just me turning into my self and avoiding everything. I have to stop it.
SMELLING
Smoke. I had migraines this week and I always smell smoke (when there is no smoke around) for days before I get one. Luckily they were fairly painless migraines, but they left me wiped out nonetheless.
WISHING
That I didn't have to deal with change at work. I do like the new girl we hired, but I miss my old coworker. =(
HOPING
To wake up and snap back into my usual routine, instead of feeling sluggish and bored with everything. I need to get back to my workouts, to tracking calories, to being excited again.
WEARING
I decided this summer that I was tired of always wearing tshirts all the time, so I've bought other tops here and there. And apparently I gravitate towards shirts that are a little low cut. I mean, looking straight on, it's decent, but from my vantage point, I look down and all I see are my boobs.
LOVING
Our Roku. Except for the fact that the girls have discovered Bratz movies. NOT loving that at all.
WANTING
To spend the rest of summer at home.
NEEDING
To be more "present." Reading sucks me in and I tend to ignore the world, which is why I hadn't been reading much. I need to strike a balance.
FEELING
Like a slug. Not working out is not working out ;)
CLICKING
I know this is to talk about fun/interesting websites, but I've been bored with the internet this week, so you get pictures.... clicking my camera. Yeah!
July's Aleda's Challenge picture. I almost forgot to take it. See my low cut shirt... LOL
My baby Dodo, looking too grown.
I showed Olivia pictures of people with extreme lazy eye. She has worn her glasses every day without nagging ever since.
This is my favorite hairstyle for Isabelle. I think all three of my girls are gorgeous, but certain pictures, like this one, make me fear for the teenage years when all the boys come calling.
Have a great week!
About a month ago, I decided I needed to test my mommy material, and I planned a day stacked with various doctor's appointments for the girls. A dentist appointment, a check up, and two eye exams. This was yesterday. As you can tell, I survived. Somewhat intact.
The Dodo had a cavity to be filled, and that was first thing in the morning. In and out in no time.
Then Isabelle had her 7 year check up (just 3 months late, I'm getting better! LOL). Checking in was an ordeal. They couldn't find her on the schedule. As it turned out, someone had either changed her appointment without telling me or she got switcharoo-ed with someone else.... different doctor, different time (we were actually late to the "new" appointment), and instead of a wellness exam, they had her scheduled for an ADHD evaluation. I straightened all that out, and then they asked me for money I had given them two weeks ago! They searched their receipt books, found it and we finally got to see the doctor. She's perfectly healthy, tall for her age, and a good weight for her height. At least I have one that is a normal weight. Over, under, normal... we have a variety. =p
We then went to lunch, where things started going awry. I looked at my phone and it was hard to see the screen. My eyes started feeling funny and after a minute I realized what was happening... a migraine aura. I have only had two previously. I worried for a while that I wouldn't be able to drive home, with all these zig zagging lights in my vision, but it cleared up by the time we finished eating. I took an Imitrex... it made me feel really crappy though. Never got a headache.
We had a few hours before the eye exams, so I took us home and I had to go lay down for a while. I felt better after that.
Off to the eye doctor, where we learned that Isabelle has great eyes, Zoe - not so much. Just like Olivia, she has a lazy eye and she's farsighted. And that means glasses.
Not only did Isabelle not get glasses, she had her eyes dilated, which she was NOT enjoying at all.
The girls were barely containing themselves at the eye doctor, and they just went nuts at home. Screaming, fighting, running, jumping. Good grief.
We went to pick up The Dodo's specs this afternoon.
I had them adjust Olivia's glasses - the optician didn't fit them to her head at all last time. As the optician went to try to bend the earpiece, she broke it. Luckily they had more of those frames in stock. This is her third pair. I think we picked the wrong frames. But at least this pair fits her head.
Isabelle was really upset that she is now the only person in our house without glasses. She felt very left out. So I told her I could fix that.
Just a pair of cheap drug store reading glasses. It took a hammer, pliers, and a screwdriver, but I somehow got the lenses out.
And now she can be nerdy with the other two.
I had another migraine aura early this morning. I took another Imitrex, felt like crap all day long. But only a slight headache. Then yet another aura this evening. I didn't have any Imitrex this time. I just took a few ibuprofen, and so far no headache, and I don't feel like crawling in a hole to die. I'm not sure what's going on, and I'm sure I should make a doctor's appointment. Hopefully it's just weather related or some other reasonably benign cause.
Long distance day... 7 miles. I knew as soon as I woke up this morning that I wasn't going to run it. I walked it all. I felt like gravity had way too much of a hold on me today. It's mental, I know. I've felt very weighed down this week. I knew I needed the time to think, and I don't really think much when I run. Which isn't bad, sometimes I need to not think. But I wanted to think today.
Plus, I haven't run since last Sunday and I knew I'd be sooooo sore tomorrow if I did run today. I really need to stop my summer slacker routine.
It was a good walk, up until the last mile and a half when the sun was just beating down on me. I took one of my favorite routes, and a good part of it is wooded, and it felt awesome in the woods. It rained last night, so it was cool and damp. But walking back across the bridge, I felt like I was baking. Summer. Blech.
I took a nap when I got home. I had to sneak that in. It seems like every Sunday, I go to take a nap and my husband follows me in the room to harass me (good-natured harassment) and then HE falls asleep. So, today, after he got up from HIS nap, I disappeared very quietly and took my own nap for once. Weird dreams, though. Very weird. I've been having a lot of weird dreams lately. I went through a long spell of not remembering my dreams, but lately, they're back with a vengeance.
When I got up, I went to work on my project for the day. I had this urge to bake bread the other day. But I didn't have any flour in the house and I didn't have a loaf pan. So I bought both yesterday. I used this recipe. Isabelle helped me knead it, and she thought it was so amazing how big it got when it was rising.
I must say that I'm impressed with myself. That's the first loaf of bread I've ever baked. And it's perfect. I toasted a slice earlier and put butter and strawberry preserves on it. So good.
So, this past week, I got a message from a friend I haven't been on speaking terms with. I've really struggled with this. As time passed, I felt like our friendship had been so fake, like I had just been a toy for him to play mind games with, and I felt totally justified in cutting him out of my life. But, after our brief conversation, I wonder if I just painted my version of events that color to justify my feelings. It's probably more accurate to say that both are true. He didn't exactly reach out to me to try to regain the friendship, but it did stoke that part of me that really misses our friendship. He always seemed to "get" me, I felt totally comfortable spilling my guts to him, something that's always been really rare for me. But I'm still wary of how genuine all that was. I feel like I did a year ago - confused, hurt, angry... I don't know what to do, if I should do anything at all. He doesn't expect anything from me, so that's all I've done so far. Nothing.
I'm on a Seether kick because of it. It just fits my mood. I'll figure it all out, calm my head, be happy. I refuse to spend months in a funk over it again. "I'll mend myself before it gets me."
My younger sister and brother-in-law live 4 houses down from us. In a few months (no date set), they're going to be moving into his parents' house after they move out. I want their house.
I can't number the times my husband and I have said we hate this house. It's almost identical to the house I grew up in, and I've really had trouble understanding how a family of the same size didn't kill each other. I can't imagine how bad it will be when the girls are teenagers (not that I want to still live here then...). When I mentioned this to my dad, he laughed at me. He said this house is a much smaller version. That explains it. The living room is OK, but has always been a challenge to fit our furniture in it. The kitchen is plenty big enough, but most of it is just empty space... there is minimal counter space, minimal cabinets. Our pantry is only half a pantry because the water heater is in there. The bathroom is hideous and too narrow with no storage space at all. The bedrooms are OK, but the paint in the girls' bedrooms is atrocious and we can't paint them. No carpet, which I didn't mind when the girls were smaller, but they aren't so messy anymore and I don't like walking on the bare floors.
What's better about my sister's house?
Well, the kitchen is enormous. About triple the number of cabinets, far more counter space, plenty of room for an island (maybe they'll leave theirs...?). There's a dishwasher. I don't think it works, but crap, I'd be willing to buy a new one even if I was just renting the place. I'm sick of hand washing dishes. We don't even have anywhere they could put a dishwasher in this kitchen. There is a full pantry. And room for a table and chairs and then some.
The living room is about twice the size of ours, with a fireplace. And carpet.
There is a garage. Bill's always talking about how he wants a garage. Not to put our cars in, but to have a place to put all his stuff and escape. We could take all of our stuff out of storage, as well.
Bill doesn't want to move though. He'd rather stay put until we save up the money to buy a house. I'd rather be somewhere I liked better in the meantime.
The are a few minor down sides. There's only one bathroom. The need for both of ours doesn't arise all that often here, but it does happen. It will be more expensive, probably around $100 a month more. But we'd be saving $50 in storage rent, and we could afford it without it being a strain.
And of course, moving just sucks. Even if it's just down the road.
I'm dog sitting for them this weekend, which got me thinking about it again. Bill shot it down before, but I think I'll give it another go.
Lately, I've been slipping. Well, at first it was slipping but lately it's felt more like a full head over heels tumble downhill.
We'll just say the scale and I aren't on friendly terms.
I've been struggling for a while with my diet. The more I'd struggle, the more I'd try to immerse myself in Paleo and "real food" blogs and information. And I think I've just hit an information overload. Man, I don't want to feel like every time I put something in my mouth that I'm poisoning myself. Eat this, don't eat that, holy crap, that's going to kill you! I'm not saying that I don't buy into any of that anymore, but there's just a point where the stress you create trying to be healthy is worse than the stuff you're trying to avoid, you know? I'd sit down to make a menu for the week and couldn't think of a single thing I wanted to eat. Food, in general, had become the enemy and that's just not how it should be.
I haven't been to the rec center in weeks. My Fitbit is chronically pissed at me. I've been doing my long run/walks, though, so at least I'm not completely sedentary, but I know from experience that when I get into longer distances that not being active during the week is going to make those hurt.
I really wanted to get into strength training, too. Good grief, that's boring stuff. I just find no enjoyment in it.
So, there it is. And it sucks.
I had a little epiphany last week. I read a book. What book doesn't matter, just that I actually read a book. I haven't taken the time to sit down and enjoy a book in months. Once I went all hardcore with the weight loss, I just didn't have time. And that's the problem...
While I enjoy working out (most of the time...), there are other things in life that I also enjoy and I've neglected them. I hardly crochet, I hadn't sewn in forever, I wasn't reading. It was 100% fitness. And I justified that because it's important. But so are the other things, because they make me happy, too.
I'm a very all or nothing person, unfortunately. But I'm going to try to work on balance.
And I'm going to do things that make me happy.
I'm going to eat things that make me happy. I love hummus in pita bread, but I had avoided it for so long.... No grains! No legumes! Oh, shut up. Yes, I'm still going to eat healthy, but I'm tired of trying to figure out "the rules." I know what makes me happy and what is reasonably healthy and I'm going to eat it.
And I'm going to go back to the very thing that started me off on this whole journey. Yoga. Yoga is great for
strength... why I thought I need to do Romanian deadlifts is beyond
me. This occurred to me the other day when my favorite online yoga
instructor put out a yoga for strength training series on her membership
site. It was a definite "duh!" moment. I love yoga, but I always let
everything else get in the way.
Yoga and running and walking. But I'm not even going to stress about the running, though. I do like running, I do like the feeling I get during and after, but if I can't run a billion miles, well - a lot of other people can't, either. I love walking. I love long-distance walking. So mixing the two is good for me. It makes me happy.
So. There's that. And it doesn't suck, I think. It actually puts me in a much better frame of mind and doesn't make me want to go act like a vacuum in the pantry.
Now, since I've yoga-ed, and purged my brain, if you'll excuse me, Dean Koontz is calling my name.
Time for another edition of Family Fun Day!
First, Bill wanted to go to the Zoo. But the zoo closes at 5pm and it just seemed like too much money for too little time. Even though we probably wouldn't have stayed any longer, but it's the principle, you know.
The girls suggested the Museum of Discovery, but it's closed on Mondays. Bummer. It's expensive anyway.
Then Bill decided on mini golf. We drove all the way out there, to discover they are closed on Mondays. What is up with everything being closed on Mondays?
So, instead, we went bowling.
Funny, partly related story first...
Yesterday, I saw a sign for soccer sign ups. So I asked Bill if he thought we should sign the girls up for soccer. He asked them and texted me back: "They say the only sports they want to play are cheerleading, air hockey, and bowling."
Needless to say, they were happy to go bowl, as it's one of their preferred sports.
They got ramps. And later in the game, bumpers, once the lady came by to show us how to set the computer to put them up. ;) I probably shouldn't admit that half the game was played without bumpers for them. You'll understand later.
The scoreboard kept scrolling a message about a Kids' Summer Bowling Camp. Two weeks on Tuesday and Thursdays, from 3-4pm. It starts tomorrow. I went up to the counter to ask about it and found out that as long as we have coupons from Kids Bowl Free, the camp is free (with the exception of shoe rental). Zoe's not actually old enough (it was 6-12), but since they weren't full, they decided it would be OK to make an exception for her. They'll learn to throw the ball and by the end should be playing without bumpers.
Isabelle tried throwing the ball instead of using the ramp. It was hilarious, but surprisingly (and with the help of the bumpers), she did pretty well. She would fall down every time, she put so much into it. I wish I had a video of it.
Equally hilarious was how badly I was bowling.
I wish I could say I was just trying to make sure none of the girls were in last place. I suck at bowling. However, towards the end, I did get 2 strikes, pushing me past Olivia. Her final score was 60... mine was 66. Pathetic.
The girls are excited about Bowling Camp. Hopefully they'll have fun. I could probably use Bowling Camp myself, but I'm past the age limit. ;)
They didn't have any cheerleading activities, but they got to play their other favorite sport, too.
I've made it an unofficial goal to do a 5k each month. It's a bit of a struggle lining up races during the summer, because it's a slow race season here in the South. Too hot. But I managed to find one in August... the Ranch Run. It's put on by the same charity that is doing my half-marathon in October and I thought it would be a really neat chance to see part of the race course. I've just been waiting to have the spare funds to register for it.
I've checked out the website a few times. It said the race started at 6:30. And it's about a 45 minute drive from my house. So I had to really consider whether or not I was willing to wake up that early on a Saturday to do a race. But I thought that considering the fact that it's usually 146* here in August (give or take 50 degrees), racing that early in the morning is probably a good thing. And I'd be able to get home in plenty of time to make lunch and send Bill off to work.
So I just registered last night.
Then I, for some reason, started scrolling through their Facebook page, which I had pulled up to get the website to register.
I noticed someone commenting on how early the race was. The race people responded, "No! It's not 6:30 in the morning, it's at night!"
Say what?
Oh no!
In all the times I've looked at the race info, it never once registered that the time was 6:30 P.M., not a.m.
Bill works Saturday nights. I can leave the girls home with him for a Saturday morning race, but I can't leave them home for a Saturday evening race.
Now I have to line up a babysitter for the evening. Hopefully my sister can watch them since she wasn't planning on doing the race (because she thought it was in the morning, too, and wasn't willing to get up that early).
And I'll probably have a heat stroke running at 6:30 at night... it's still hot out then!
I swear....
