My Favorite

Well, just so you know, I salvaged the chocolate pie and the dressing, which was almost as bad of a disaster, turned out pretty good also.  Whew!  I don't want to cook anything that requires a recipe for a while now.

I put our Christmas tree up on Friday, but we just got around to decorating it today.  I didn't have enough lights to reach the top, so I had to get another set to finish that up first.  I'll need to rearrange a little bit... the girls did most of it , so the ornaments stop at about 4 1/2 feet and are all grouped in about 1/4 of the circumference of the tree.  They had fun, though.  I only lost one ornament in the process, and while I'm kind of sad about it, I'm glad that was all. 

I thought I'd share a picture of my favorite ornament with you.  I'd like to introduce you to Creepy Santa...



Trust me, photographs do not do this ornament justice.  Honestly, I should hate this ornament.  Life-like things like that give me the willies, and he does too.  Every time I hold it, my tummy feels a little funny.  But for some reason, I love him.  His skin looks so real... the crepe-y texture of the bags under his eyes... the eyes themselves.. the eyelashes.  He's really disturbing.  He goes near the top of the tree so no one else can touch him and he watches over us all Christmas.  Really, it's like he's following you around the room.  My husband can't stand him.  If he goes missing, I know who did it.

I got Creepy Santa a few years ago at our Christmas Pokeno game.  We all bring an ornament and play Dirty Santa.  My sister brought Creepy Santa and it freaked everyone out.  Me included.  When I got him, I really didn't think I could handle having him close by.  But, by the end of the night, I had fallen in love with him.

I normally have an aversion to things like this.  I can't handle life-like paintings.  There was a sit-com when I was growing up, I can't remember the name but it was about this guy who drew comic strips and his wife had red hair, his two daughters lived downstairs and they had a really bizarre neighbor named Monroe.  I loved that show.  Except for this one episode where someone gives the guy this painting and it talks to him.  Scared the daylights out of little me.  To this day, if a painted portrait isn't a little abstract, get it away from me.

And dolls.  My dad has a lot of fun with my aversion to certain dolls.  I can handle most of them, but I don't like ceramic babies or the ones that just look like dead babies.  I also absolutely can't handle dolls that move.  My friend gave his daughter a doll that looked like it was breathing.  I almost had to leave the house when he showed it to me.  My parents bought Olivia a doll a few years ago that would cry and wriggle around when you played with it.  That was creepy.  What was even creepier was the night I was sitting on the couch folding laundry and the doll was on the floor next to my foot and started writhing unprovoked and touched my foot.  I came unglued.  Which reminds me of the Dora phone they gave the girls that started talking to me one night.  Oh my goodness that was awful.

Demonic toys, Stephen King novels, and Serial Killer kitties.  The things that scare me when I'm home alone....  It's a good thing I have Creepy Santa to keep away the Boogie Man for the next month.

And here I was getting all cocky

Here's a math lesson. 

1 can of evaporated milk = 12 oz.  12 oz > 3/4 cup.

That means I have a bowl of what is basically chocolate evaporated milk on my counter instead of a chocolate pie in the oven.

This is why we can't eat nice things.

Why I shop alone...

I had to take my kids grocery shopping with me today.  Big deal, some of you would say... because you do it every week.  I do not.  I am very blessed that my husband watches them when I go, usually Saturday mornings, sometimes Sunday mornings.  I enjoy this time to myself.  Everyone hates grocery shopping, but I look forward to it.  Until I get the total, but it's good the rest of the time.  I do take the girls to the store sometimes during the week if we run out of something, but it's as quick as I can make it. 

But my husband is on call this week and didn't get home from work until 5am this morning.  So, I thought I would be nice and not wake him up at 9am so that I could get my shopping in before he had to go to work.  I couldn't wait until tomorrow, because we're going to my parents' house for our Thanksgiving dinner and I needed some ingredients for my contributions.  My only option  was to either feed everyone Stove Top instead of real dressing or take the girls to the store.  Considering that I'm the only one who really even cares about dressing, I should have gone that route.  But I really like dressing.

It's not like I think my kids are any worse than anyone else's kids at the store.  I'm sure they're not.  But I'm not used to having to deal with it for the extent of a grocery shopping experience.

Within 5 minutes they were all proclaiming the need to go to the bathroom.  I never know if I should believe them, because Isabelle and Zoe are just obsessed with public restrooms.  We cannot go anywhere without them wanting to go to the bathroom.  Even if they just went.  And sometimes they ask after I've already taken them.  And since we were at Walmart, of course - OF COURSE - the restrooms are where?  Behind the toy department.  With all the reasons there are to complain about shopping at Walmart, this is my biggest one.  They are bastards (pardon my language) for making me drag my kids through the toys to go to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, which, mind you is only about 5 minutes into the trip, I line the girls up and remind them that I will abandon our cart and take them straight home if they can't figure out how to stop running and twirling and skipping and climbing on the cart. 

About halfway through the trip, I have them lined up again by the canned foods, telling them that I will put every single food item they enjoy back on the shelf and they will have to eat saltine crackers all week.

Shortly after that, I text my husband and tell him that he owes me.  He asks why.  Why?  You can tell he's never done this.  I told him I was about to stuff the kids in the freezer case and just go home.  He said OK. 

Near the end, the girls are pretending to be ducks and mentioning that ducks don't wear clothes, which, by this point, I can't tell if they are just making an observation or plotting to be more realistic ducks and strip naked in the dairy section.  They are hanging off of my shirt - literally - and I'm standing by the wine.  I stood there for quite a while, debating.   I don't drink very often, but they had literally driven me to drink.  The only reason I didn't grab a bottle is that I remembered there is some Southern Comfort in the freezer at home. 

Pie making is going to be quite an experience tonight.

Apple Pie and Huge Trees

So, did you get out to do your Black Friday shopping today?  I didn't.  I just can't bring myself to torture myself with that many crazy people to save a few bucks.  I really hated that certain stores chose to open Black Friday while it was still Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving should be about spending time with family, not trampling people to get to the hot item.  That's just me though.... and I hate shopping and crowds in general, so you can take it for what it's worth.  =)

I have an apple pie in the oven right now for my husband.  My side of the family really doesn't care that much about apple pie... our Thanksgiving dessert menu is always pumpkin, pecan, and chocolate (and I only eat chocolate.  I can't stand pecan or pumpkin.  Gag).  And fruit salad, but for some reason that always gets served with the meal.  I never really understood that, but who am I to complain about it?  My mom makes the best fruit salad ever (actually, my sister now... the torch has been passed LOL).  Probably the most unhealthy fruit salad ever, as well, but oh well.  It has mayonnaise in it.  Sounds nasty, but, man, is it good.

I don't brag much about my cooking, but I do take pride in my apple pie.  I'm trying something a little different this time... I'm making it in a skillet.  But the filling is what matters, really.  I think there are two important keys to a good apple pie.  First, you have to use the right apples.  Granny Smith.  They have to be tart apples or it's just too sweet.  Secondly, and most important, is ground cloves.  Just 1/4 tsp is all you need, but you do need it.  Cinnamon and apple pie spice just isn't enough.

I got our tree put up today.  My husband won't let me do it any sooner.  We tried the whole real tree business last year and I vowed we would never do that again.  It was such a pain getting it home and I swear it was in the back of my husband's truck for weeks after we took it down until one of his coworkers got rid of it.  We did the real tree thing because all I had was a white artificial tree and I hated it.  So, when Christmas was over and everything was on sale, I bought a new one. 

Now, here's another handy fact about me... I am a terrible judge of measurement.  It's probably one of my downfalls in cooking, to be honest.  So, all those numbers on the box really didn't mean much to me.  I didn't care how tall it was because I couldn't tell you how tall the last tree was.  I really should have done some measuring or something...

It's a 7.5 foot tree.  Our ceiling, as I discovered today, is 7.5 feet.  The thing takes up half of the living room.  I've been trying to rearrange things to make it fit, but we have two couches and I can't move the entertainment center because the cable cord won't read anywhere else.  It's 4.5 feet wide.  My kids can stretch out beneath it.  Dude.

I also took the girls' picture for our Christmas card.  I loved the pictures I've seen of kids wrapped up in lights, so I stole the idea.  I liked this one until I realized how demented Olivia looks:

I'll probably use this one...  maybe.  Or did I upload the wrong one?  I don't know.  It's not as sharp and they had messed up my lights by then.  Uncooperative children, they are.

I didn't get too many decent shots. I have one other idea, something I wanted to do when Olivia was a baby and didn't get to do because she scratched her face something terrible the day before I put up the tree.  So we will see.  I have to decorate the beast of a tree first. 

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone has had a wonderful day.  Ours was very quiet.  No big family get-together.  Don't be sad... it'll happen on Sunday.  One reason we are waiting is that normally Mr. Bill has to work Thursday night, regardless of whether or not it is a holiday.  But they decided to shut the shop down for a change and he ended up at home.  We threw together a mini Thanksgiving dinner, complete with a mini turkey (a cajun seasoned breast that was already fully cooked). 


Someone pea'd on the table.  ;)  Zoe called them "green corn."

I haven't had many crafty things to show lately.  Mainly because I haven't finished anything but a few sock monkey hats and a mohawk hat.  I do have a WIP - Hobbes for Isabelle - that is going way too slow.  But I finally have a couple of things to show...

Olivia's BFF has a birthday coming up soon and I know she loves Hello Kitty, so I improvised a hat for her.  Olivia wanted me to make her a doll, but I needed it to be a quicker project.


why, oh, why is that closet always open?

I think if I make another one, I need to make the eyes and nose smaller.  I like how the corners of the hat form ears without having to actually attach ears.

I also have part of my brother-in-law's Christmas present finished.  I'm making him a beard hat, but the beard will be detachable.  Because, while he'll get a kick out of a beard hat for sure, I don't see him getting much use out of it.  I wanted the hat to be blue and orange...  he's a big fan of the Bears.  I tried one pattern and didn't like the way it was turning out, so I decided to try the Brain Waves pattern from Playin' Hooky Designs.  I ended up adding another stripe because it fit me better that way, and there is no way his head is smaller than mine, so I figured it would fit him better that way, too.  I like this much better...


Man, that's a bad picture...

I made little loops inside to attach the beard to once I get that worked out.  I thought about just sewing buttons in the hat to attach the beard to, but I thought that wouldn't be really comfortable.

I'm actually making really good progress on all my Christmas projects.  Well, aside from Hobbes.  He's not hard, I've just been really tired this week and can only work on him after the girls go to bed.  But I have half a leg and the tail to go and then I can put him together and move on.

I think I'm going to postpone making the flower scarves for the girls.  Isabelle caught sight of some peg dolls on Pinterest (my entire family - husband included - loves that site) and wants some. 

Source: etsy.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

So I've ordered some blanks and some paint and I'll make some instead of the scarves.  I can't resist... they remind me of the old school Little People that I had when I was little... before they make them less of a choking hazard.  I do believe we're past the eating of the toys around here.  Plus, at some point I'm going to need to do something other than crochet all night or I'll burn out, you know?  I'm still going to make the scarves, but it will probably be after Christmas. 

Of course, after finding this today, I kind of question why I make anything for the girls:



For once, that wasn't Isabelle's handiwork.  I don't know why Olivia impaled her doll on a knitting needle... my sister asked if she's started practicing Voodoo.  If anyone starts complaining of shoulder pain anytime soon, we'll know for sure.

There goes my MOTY...

(that's Mother of the Year, btw...)

If I had to pick the one thing that consistently makes me feel like a bad mother, it has to be Olivia's ears.

Now, I know I'm not a bad mother, but everyone has their moments when you just feel like someone needs to stamp "FAIL" on your forehead.

Olivia has been plagued with ear infections her whole life.  Not really all that unusual, but she never complains about them.  I would take her in for just a routine check up when she was a baby and the doctor would look at me like I was nuts when I said she hadn't been fussy... because she'd have a raging ear infection.  We finally had tubes put in her ears when she was about 20 months old.  We didn't have many problems with the tubes, just some drainage when she was sick.  And let me tell you, if you've never seen snot oozing from your child's ear, you're missing out on one of the finest parenting experiences.  Gross.

In April of 2010, she had to have tubes placed again.  Her old ones had fallen out after a good, long run (most of them fall out in a year's time) and she started having ear infections again.  We were hoping she'd grow out of them by then, but it wasn't meant to be.

We have to go to the ENT doctor every six months to have her ears checked.  Now, I'm not a big fan of our ENT.  She was not my first choice, but the doctor I wanted wouldn't do the surgery where I wanted (where I work).  I got really annoyed after our last visit when I got a bill in the mail.  We paid our copay, but since she had seen the audiologist and the doctor, we were charged more.  We weren't given the option and it was totally unnecessary since her ears were perfectly fine.  So, when it came time for her check up this time, I was pretty grumpy about it.  I almost just canceled it, but she has had some drainage lately, so I thought I better keep the appointment.  Reluctantly.

Her whole office is very non-kid-friendly.  No kids' magazines or book, no TV, no toys, nothing.  Boring as can be for a 7 year old, especially when they are always at least a half-hour behind (even if you are the first appointment... )  We waited, with Olivia being antsy because she's bored, and me being cranky because I think this is just a waste of time and money and Olivia's driving me batty since she's bored.

Finally we get to the room and the audiologist won't check Olivia's hearing because of all the drainage in her ear.  She said she'd have the doctor clean it up first.  Then the doctor comes in and looks and immediately looks at me and says "well, have you had her treated for this?"  No.  The drainage didn't  hurt anything before and she has not once complained of her ears hurting.  Well, her ears are all kind of gross, tubes clogged, nasty infection going on.  Of course.  We have to treat her with antibiotics and ear drops (heaven help me... she hates ear drops almost as much as eye drops and she'd rather pluck her eyes out than have eye drops).  Then in two weeks, the doctor will decide if she can just remove the tubes right then and there and just hope for the best or if she is going to need another set of tubes, in which case means surgery.  For the third time.

I'm feeling like a moron for not taking her to the doctor when she had drainage to begin with.  We maybe could have avoided the possibility of surgery if I had.  I know the surgery is about as minor as you can get, but I still feel terrible that she's only 7 and is looking at maybe having her third surgery.

And then the icing on the cake.... Olivia and Isabelle have matching Hello Kitty sparkly shoes.  Apparently they couldn't find a complete pair today, so Olivia was wearing two left shoes.  Since she was dressed and in her jacket by the time I saw her today, I did not notice this until shortly before the doctor pointed it out. 

Yup.  I'm batting 1000 over here today.

Ugh... people

Here's a little soapbox moment from me...

I try very hard not to be judgmental towards other parents.  I try.... it doesn't always happen.  It's difficult when I see some of these parents who drag their 2 year old in for full-mouth dental work at my job not to be.  But I know that parenting styles differ as greatly as people do in general.  And it's none of my business. 

But not everyone tries to keep their opinions to themselves.  Especially on the internet.

I saw a video today about these two little boys who got into the flour and covered half the house in it.  Everyone was calling "hoax" and/or calling the mom a bad parent for being so calm about it.  "There's no way there would be such an even coating of flour."  "There's no way those kids could carry a 5lb bag of flour."  "It was up on the wall... there's no way they could have gotten it up like that.. and in clumps, even!"

A few years ago, Isabelle got a bag of powdered sugar out of the pantry and coated half my living room in it.  It looked just like that video.  There was powdered sugar on the ceiling.  And it wasn't even a full bag of sugar... a little powdered sugar (and flour) goes a long way.  Plus, my 3 year old can carry a full gallon of milk, which is heavier than a 5lb sack of flour. 

You know what my reaction was....

.........

I was too shocked to scream or yell. 

I normally don't read comments on articles.  People are just ugly and I don't like getting worked up over how stupid people can be.  But, for some reason, I started reading the comments on this video.  They were horrible.  People just lose all sense of "being nice" when they are online sometimes. 

So, you know, I learned from all this that, according the internet population, I'm a bad mom.  Among a multitude of other reasons that I gleaned from CafeMom before I decided it was best for my mental well-being to stop dealing with that website.  Whatever.  At least on CafeMom the judgmental people were actual mothers and I would bet most of the people commenting on that article don't have kids.

Isabelle makes messes.  It's just her.  She's tried to make coffee for her Daddy using half my spice cabinet.  I found her making carrot cake in her bedroom one morning.  The powdered sugar incident.... and more.  I have had all kinds of reactions, across the board from being stunned into silence to screaming like a banshee.  She is just too curious and consequences be damned.  Am I a bad mother?  No.  I don't question that.  She's a handful, but she's hardly ever in trouble at school.  She's kind and helpful.  Do I need to find better ways of channeling that curiosity?  Absolutely.  But she's always going to be like this and, to be honest, I wouldn't change that.  I just need her to explore in ways that don't involve me renting a Rug Doctor when I don't even own a rug.

But, it did help to remind me about trying to not be so judgmental.  Yes, I can disagree with parents who give their kids so much candy and soda that their teeth rot before they are even all in, BUT they could be infinitely better at other aspects of parenting than I am.  I know there are things I do or let my kids do that people could take issue with, but I feel that I'm raising some pretty awesome kids.