That was a first.

You know how some people are really afraid of storms?  Like standing by the window wringing their hands, whispering "Lordy, Lordy" kind of scared.  That's not me.  (That was my grandmother though, bless her soul)

Storms only bother me if they interfere with my electricity.

I have had friends who would be whimpering in the corner at the mention of a tornado watch, and be yelling at me when I'm calm as can be about it all.  I can't help it.  I've known people who have had their homes demolished by tornadoes.  I've been mere miles from the path of tornadoes.  But they just don't scare me.

However, I've become more cautious with children.  Where I never even bothered to pay attention to the weather people during storms, I will actually sit and listen to them to make sure we're safe.  And it always seems to happen after I put the kids to bed, and when Bill's at work, so usually I don't even take shelter for a warning - I'd have to wake the kids up and that's just something I avoid.

So, tonight the storms moved in.  I really didn't think much of it, but I used it as an excuse to skip the rec center tonight (bad me) using the reasoning that I would just do a workout at home (yeah, as if).  I put the girls to bed, had a couple of flash flood warnings sound on my phone, heard the sirens a few times (but they go off if there is a warning anywhere in the county) but really didn't think to even look at the weather until the power flickered a little.

I changed into my jammies and had this random thought that maybe I should have kept my bra on just in case.  Which is a really odd thought to have.  So I thought I should check the weather.  And what do you know?  A tornado warning for my area.  So I sat down to watch and see how close.  Pretty close.  Nothing confirmed, but the radar showed all the right stuff for one. (I'm no meteorologist.  It's just "stuff")

I paced back and forth from the computer to the girls' bedroom, debating waking them up.  What if that random thought was some sort of premonition?  When the weather chick was listing areas to take cover, and mentioned the fire station right down the road, I decided it was time.  Time to see how many of us can fit in the bathroom (our only room without windows or an outside wall).

Here's what I learned:

*** My bathroom is not big enough for 3 kids, their pillows and blankets, and me to fit inside comfortably.  Lucky Bill is at work or someone would have had to sit in the tub.

*** My kids are extremely hard to wake up.

*** Random thoughts are thankfully not premonitions.  No tornado.

Better safe than sorry, right?

Crayon Bomb Virtual 5k/10k

As you know, I just ran my first 5k!  Yay me! 

But that means I have no immediate goals, other than my half-marathon in October, and it seems so far away that it just doesn't feel all that pressing at the moment.  I actually have a little wiggle room before hard-core training, and that's really tempting me to "take it easy."

That's a bad thing.  My diet has been erratic at best lately, and I can't let my fitness slip.  I refuse to totally fall off the wagon.  So I thought it was time to make my Virtual 10k a concrete plan.

I've decided to make it a 5k/10k, because I would really LOVE for someone other than my sister and me to participate.  But I know that not everyone has any desire to run a 10k, ever.  So, should you chose to participate with us, you have the option of a 5k distance, as well.  

I have some more work to do, but this is the basic low-down.

So, without further ado.... 

The Crayon Bomb Virtual 5k/10k

August 17-24, 2013

any time, any place you choose within that 8 day time-frame!

Rules

5k (3.1miles) or 10k (6.2 miles) must be completed in one stretch

You may walk, run, skip, crawl, dance... whatever gets you to the finish line

You may do it outside or on a treadmill

My Fun Suggestion

Leave a Crayon Bomb at your "finish line", wherever that may be (or somewhere else if you're finish line is your own home)

I will have a printable bib for the race, and a printout of the Crayon Bomb passage if you choose to leave a Crayon Bomb.

I am hoping to have a finishers "medal" if you would like one.  It will be handmade...  nothing fancy, but I'm kind of excited about it. 

If I actually have interest from people, I might set up a Facebook group to keep track of you guys. 

Long Weekend

Happy Memorial Day!  I'm very blessed to have several people in my life that have served in the military and made it back home, and my heart and everlasting gratitude goes out to those who did not make it home.

We've spent our unusual amount of family time out and about.  We've had 2 full days, minus my time racing on Sunday. 

Yesterday we decided to go out and play some Frisbee.



Silly Olivia, that's not how you play Frisbee.



The girls really didn't know how to play.  See how intent Zoe is trying to learn, tongue out and all!



That child needs to stop looking so grown up.



But then it started to rain.  So we drove around a bit until the shower stopped and we ended up at this pond.



It wasn't all that impressive, really.  Kind of run down.  Blah.  But we wandered around and found a little trail.



You would think my husband is the most unpleasant person ever, he always has to look so grumpy in pictures.  Our kids are going to look back at their childhood pictures and think he was just miserable all the time.

We left there and had some dinner.  Went to bed, woke up, cleaned the house a bit, and then were out of the house by 10am, which is a miracle.  We're usually doing good to get out by 1 or 2pm. 

Bill had been wanting to check out a new State Park, and we had to wait for a day that we had all day to do it in, because it was a 2 hour drive.  Personally, I don't really want to make a 2 hour drive unless it's somewhere we're staying the night.  Because it means a 2 hour drive home, too... and I don't want to be in the car for 4 hours in one day.  But, he wanted to go, so we went.



It was really pretty there.  Lots and lots of dirt roads.  



We had a picnic with the bumblebees.  My kids aren't fans of bugs of any sort.  Somehow Bill telling them that bumblebees don't sting because they'll die made them feel better.  I don't know if that's true.  Personally, knowing something would die doesn't make me feel any better about the prospect of getting stung, but I'm not afraid of bumblebees anyway.



We did a little hiking but those pictures were kind of blurry.  Not sure what happened there.  It was a nice trail, though.  Isabelle and I got to take a little walk by ourselves while Bill drove the other two to the bathroom.  She said she was glad she was exercising with me and the other two just don't understand exercise.  I assured her that they'd understand it plenty this summer... I intend to keep them active.  

That was about it, though.  It was fun, but totally not worth the time spent in the van.  Especially since we got stuck in traffic on the way home, so we were in the van more like 5 hours.  We were all a little testy by the time we got home.

Hope you all had an excellent long weekend!

Rock N Stroll 5k

So, today was the big day!  The Rock N Stroll 5k.  My first 5k as a runner.

My sister has also been training for this 5k.  She sent me a message yesterday expressing her concern about being able to complete it.  She's been super busy all month... she's been out of town practically half the month and hasn't had the chance to train like scheduled.  She had decided that if she wasn't able to run the whole race today that she'd sign up for another 5k next weekend, hoping that having a back up goal would keep her from getting discouraged if she couldn't run this one.  I told her not to be too disappointed, she's come a very long way and should be proud of herself no matter what.  And I promised to push her through any disappointment if I had to.  =)  I like having her as a goal buddy, I don't want her to give up.  We have a half-marathon to do in October.  =)

I picked up my race packet on Friday, and I was a little disappointed in the tshirt.  There were two different races having packet pick up in the store that day, and the other race had a much cooler shirt.  I was jealous.  LOL

 

Anyway.  My alarm on my phone went off this morning at 7am and promptly froze as I tried to hit snooze.  By the time I got it to turn off and stop buzzing, I was wide awake.  No oversleeping for me.

I was actually more nervous about the parking situation than the actual race.  I hate parking downtown and I have absolutely no sense of direction.  I managed to park without any issue, but I had no clue where the start was in relation to where I was.  I saw two people walking in athletic gear, and decided to follow them.  At one point, there was a group of people with race bibs on walking the opposite way, and I thought "Hey, they're obviously running my race, so I should be following them." 

Um.  No.  After a few blocks, we met up with another group of people who asked us where the start was.  The group I was following said they didn't know, they were hoping the other people knew.  So there was a group of about 10 of us, lost as can be.  We did make it to the start on time... it turned out I should have followed the original couple.  Figures.

Then I started worrying about my sister.  I had texted her and tried to call her and no response.  I was worried about her oversleeping or something.  But she eventually found me and all was right with the world once again.

Yes, I rocked the Wonder Woman shirt.  Maybe by my next race I will feel a little more comfortable in it, but I'm proud of myself for wearing it today. I'm just not used to snug-fitting clothes.  But once I got there and saw how clingy most athletic shirts tend to be, I didn't feel like anyone would be all like "OMG, she left the house like that?"  =)  Oh, and Bill thought it was a Whataburger tshirt.  :::sigh:::

And then the race started.  I planned on sticking with my sister.  We run pretty much the same pace, and if she had gone to a walk, she walks as fast as she runs, so I still would have been fine.  =)  But I wanted to stay with her in case she felt like giving up, hoping that having me there would encourage her to push as far as she possibly could.

I wasn't all that concerned with whether or not I could do the distance, because I did it last week.  But I was concerned with the bridge we had to cross because I trained mostly on the treadmill and my outdoor routes are pretty flat.  But it wasn't too bad, really.  

I slowed to a walk just once to drink some water because I sloshed it all over my face trying to run.  

I had to stop very briefly to retie my shoe about mile 2.  I always double knot my shoes.  I don't know what I was thinking today.

We got close to what we thought was the finish line and I knew it wasn't 3.1 miles yet.  As we got closer there were volunteers there pointing the way to the real finish line.  I think my sister wanted to scream.  She was still there, by my side, by the way.  She had stopped running for maybe 5 seconds at one point and then decided there was no way she was giving up.  And she did not.

We saw the real finish line and the clock was reading 44:something.  I said, "there is no way that clock is hitting 45:00 with me on this side."  I just took off and jumped across the line like a crazy person.  I'm sure I looked like a dork.  I don't care.  My time was 44:35:53  =)  My sister was 44:35:86!  She finished the race!  She rocks.

I'm so happy.  Not one time did I ever want to quit, I felt great the entire time.  All the volunteers were just so friendly, all my lost people were super nice, I just loved every minute of it.  10 weeks ago, I really didn't think I'd ever be able to actually run 3.1 miles.  60 seconds was too much.  I'm just amazed at how far I've come.  Still intimidated by how far I want to go, but I don't think I can stop.  I can't say I'm in love with running itself, but the feeling of accomplishment.... what a high!  I'm definitely not stopping.

I'm going to try to work on getting a little faster when I do my weekday runs at the rec center, and then my weekend run will be distance.  I have 22 weeks or so until the half-marathon. 

I don't have any "real" races lined up until my half-marathon.  I have a few virtual 5ks, and I'm still planning on doing a virtual 10k for my sister and I in August (it may just be us, but I'll try to get other people to participate).  My sister mentioned a 5k in July she's thinking about registering for... the Firecracker Fast 5k.  It's mostly downhill and the record time for it is something crazy like 13 minutes.  Can you imagine?  I can't even run 1 mile in 13 minutes!  I'm thinking about it, though.  I worry about two things... I know people are more prone to injury running downhill and I'd hate to have a PR that I can't possibly beat in any other race!  

Oh, and wouldn't you know that today I discovered the Three Bridges Marathon... OMG!  It crosses the Clinton Bridge, the Big Dam Bridge, and the Two Rivers Bridge.  I love, love, love our bridges.  December 2013 is the inaugural race.  I still am not sure I'd ever go for a full marathon, but I'll be damned if these people aren't tempting me.

Flattery and Fear

I had like a million things to do tonight.  The girls trashed the living room (what else is new?), there's laundry to be done (when isn't there?), I should have done some yoga or something.  But instead I ended up getting addicted to a show.  When the girls were winding down in bed, I thought I'd check out a show I queued on Netflix that I figured would be too short for running to, Wilfred.  Just one less-than-half-hour show while the girls found their way to dreamland.

Holy cow, that show cracks me up.  It's about a really depressed guy who tries to kill himself unsuccessfully and befriends his neighbor's dog, who looks like a guy in a ratty dog suit.  It has Elijah Wood in it, and I just think he's adorable.

I watched 5 episodes.  I tried to stop after 2, really, I did.  But it's so good.

Yeah, nothing got done tonight.  But I laughed.  

*warning... the show would probably be offensive to a lot of people.  I tend to find offensive things funny.  Sorry.

Anyway.

Let me tell you what happened to me today.  

I was at work and went into the nursing supervisor's office to get something and she stopped me to ask me a question.

She said she let her husband sign her up for a half-marathon (possibly the same one I'm doing, there aren't that many that happen around here) and asked ME how to train for it.

*jaw drop*

She had asked me before about running and I know my boss likes to tell people that I did a half-marathon all the time.  When she doesn't get mixed up and tell them I ran a triathlon.  Good grief, can you imagine?  I actually discovered earlier today that there's a duathon and a triathlon later this summer, but I neither bike nor swim, so I don't even know why I'm mentioning that.

Chocolate.  I had chocolate.  You'll have to forgive me.

I was really flattered that someone came to me for advice like that.  I don't really talk about stuff like that at work much, and only a handful of people at work are on my Facebook, and most of them are the type that just have to have everyone they have ever met as a friend so they barely notice my posts anyway, so I'm usually caught off guard by anyone there even knowing that I run now.

Then there was another thing that happened that made me think a little bit about something.  This is a little personal, but you know... the chocolate is making my fingers chatty I guess.

Bill had told me the other day that he and Zoe's teacher had talked about church, and told me not to be surprised if she asked me to go to church.  I don't usually go to church, for reasons.  I try not to get into religion here (or anywhere) so I'll leave it at that.  Well, today she actually did mention it.  Part of me feels like it's her way of trying to be able to see Zoe after this school year is over... she's been her teacher 2 years now and is really fond of her.  And then the thought that made me think..

"What if she's just trying to be your friend?"

I'm sure I've talked about this before, but it feels like the dumbest thing to say, but that kind of scares me.  Even with the nursing supervisor talking to me today, she's being friendly and, while feeling flattered, I felt like bolting out the door.

I don't have any really close friends.  I have a few people at work I would call a friend, but it rarely goes outside of work.  I have some old friends from school that I keep up with online now, but rarely see in person.  I have some good internet friends that I've never met.  Hell, for all intents and purposes, it's like all my friends are imaginary because without a computer they may as well not even exist.  Since cutting my two closest friends out of my life last year (and there were real reasons, not just this social anxiety I'm fessing up to), I really and truly have had ZERO social life outside of family.  I've gone through phases where I'll be "I need to get out there and make friends!" but I just can't do it.

I'm not having a pity party.  Most of the time I'm perfectly fine with it.  But I just don't understand it.  Why is it so difficult for me?  Am I just afraid of being used and hurt?  Am I just too lazy to put forth the effort?  I mean, it's really easy to not have friends.  Seriously.  No coordinating schedules when you want to do something, no trying to balance family/friend time.  Do I feel lonely sometimes?  Sure, but not as often as you'd think.  Is that wrong?  It does bother me that the idea of making a friend freaks me out.  I don't think I should have some sort of fear about it.  I think maybe I'm a little too comfortable with solitude.  Or maybe I just tell myself I am. 

I don't know.... I think I'm just thinking to much and should go to bed.  =)

Guess what I did today?

Today was my usual "run outside" day and I set a goal of running 2.75 miles.  That puts me at running 3 miles on Tuesday and then a trial run at 3.1 on the treadmill before the big day next Sunday.

I went to the park where I usually go and was just thrilled to see that there was a soccer tournament going on... so there were people everywhere.  The trail I wanted to run pretty much circles all the soccer fields, so I would have an audience.  Yay!  =p  Luckily, it doesn't bother me as much as it once did.

I decided to go a total of 4 miles... I usually go farther than just my run, simply because I can.  I walked 1/4 of a mile to warm up, and then started running.  I started using a new app, Runkeeper, instead of CardioTrainer.  I don't have a problem with CardioTrainer, but my sister got me using Achievemint and Runkeeper is one of the apps they track.  (Achievemint is one of those sites where you earn points for different things and when you reach a certain number of points, they send you money.  When and if I get a check, I'll probably talk about it more.  It'll be a while.)  Anyway, Runkeeper has a really cool feature where it will show you your pace minute by minute, instead of just mile splits.  My pace is anything but consistent.  I'd run a 13:00 pace for a while, then drop to 15:00.  It's not really important right now, but interesting to me.

So, as I was starting to get close to the 3 mile mark, which would have been my 2.75 goal, a friend of mine came to mind.  We've been online friends for over 5 years... we've never met in person, but she's one of my dearest friends.  She runs, and there have been a few times that she's sent me a message to tell me that she struggled during a run and I would come to mind and it helped her to push through her run.  Today also happens to be her birthday.  So, before my app told me I had reached 3 miles, I reached a decision...

It was time to pay her back.  She uses me as an inspiration to go farther, so to honor her birthday, I was going to use her as an inspiration to run my first 5k.  I kept running past 3 miles.  All the way to 3.35 (3.1 plus my .25 warmup)!

You guys!  I ran 5k!

And, let me just say this... I'm glad I did it today instead of next week when I'd be around a bunch of people.  Because I cried.  I cried walking back to the van.  I cried on the way home.  It was like an emotional enema.  Lovely imagery, right?

So, now I know for sure that I can run my 5k next week.  And I'm soooo excited.  

I'm going to run 3.1 miles Tuesday and Thursday, and I'm going to dedicate each run to someone, like I did today.  =)

After I got home and got showered, we threw together a picnic lunch and headed out to take a hike.  We ended up on a 2 mile hike... way more than one of us (ahem, Zoe) wanted to go.  She started whining and crying about half a mile in, so it was a looooooong hike.



She's lucky she's so pretty or I would have left her out there.  Not really, but after a while the crying was pretty nerve wracking.



Isabelle was pretty ticked off for most of the hike because she wanted to go climb the mountain.  But Olivia wore flip flops... not good hiking shoes for sure, but definitely not good for climbing the mountain.



Olivia was pretty easy-going, for a change.  Usually she's the loudest protester during our hikes.  I love her upturned nose.  =)

I'm pooped now.  Very active day.  16,000+ steps on the ol' Fitbit today.  I haven't hit a number that high in a while.

The cycle

I have been struggling quite a bit with my eating lately.  Trying to keep it real, you guys.  LOL

I generally don't enjoy cooking, which is a real pain when you're trying to eat clean or Paleo or Primal.  You just have to cook.  Add in the fact that every single time I hit some sort of milestone in my weight loss, I tend to just let go.  It never fails.  It's why my weight loss has taken as long as it has.  Yes, I've made a lot of progress, but 37 lbs in about a year isn't fast by any means.  Not that I'm trying to belittle my progress, I'm just saying that if I could stay on track consistently, it would be much higher.

When I am on track, I feel great.  Energetic and really motivated.  But when I slip, this vicious cycle begins.  I don't feel energetic or motivated, so I find reasons not too cook... then I don't have things prepared to take to lunch and I end up eating out... then I feel even more sluggish and unmotivated and don't want to cook dinner.  You get the picture, I'm sure.  

This past week was worse than ever, because not only did I not feel the energy or motivation to cook, I didn't have to worry about feeding my husband.  Making sure he has stuff in the fridge to eat when he gets home is usually what keeps me from falling off the wagon totally, even if it is by my fingernails.

And I have zero interest in food in general.  Yes, I get hungry, but there are few things I really want to eat.  Meal planning?  Torture.  Making a grocery list?  Well, I have to plan meals first.

Luckily, I've had my running to keep me from just spinning totally out of control.  I run 3 times a week, and I haven't strayed from that at all.  I'd like to do more on my non-run days, but as long as I have those days going for me, I feel like I've not totally given up.

I had hoped to hit 40 lbs lost by my 5k next Sunday, but that's most likely not possible at this point.  It was totally possible when I hit 37 lbs lost, but then I bounced off that pretty hard, as I always do.

But...

I'm really going to make the effort this week to get back on track.  I planned out meals for the week and went grocery shopping.  I have stuff for my lunches.  We do have a date night on Monday (what?  how'd that happen?) but I have already put in my request to eat somewhere I know I can enjoy eating healthy at.  I'm going to make sure I'm tracking my calories.  I may not be 227 at my 5k in a week, but I should feel much, much better.

Time to hit the upswing of the cycle.  And really concentrate on staying away from the down side for a while.

So, anyway...

It's my last week before my 5k!  Eek!  I'm going to see if watching something while running on the treadmill makes the time pass quickly.  Netflix on my phone, so you know, I won't be able to see crap.  LOL  I'm getting bored with my music playlist and wanted to try something different.  Tomorrow I'm aiming for 2.75 miles outside... my last outside run before the 5k.  Then 3 miles on Tuesday and a trial 5k on the treadmill Thursday.  It's gonna happen, folks!

Then it's 10k training.  Onward and upward.