Wednesday, August 24, 2016

28 Days of Gratitude - Day 3

Today I am grateful for my phone for keeping me occupied when I'm bored.
I am grateful for money so that I can pay my bills.
I am grateful for my coworkers who help make my job smoother.
I am grateful for dragonflies because they are my spirit animal.
I am grateful for coffee because it gets me going in the morning.
I am grateful for the school nurse for taking care of my kids.
I am grateful for my brother-in-law for helping out with my kids.
I am grateful for routines because I feel better when I have one.
I am grateful for my eyes because I like seeing beautiful things.
I am grateful for music because it makes me feel more deeply.

Thank you, Bill, for being a good father.
Thank you, Bill, for working so hard to provide for the family.
Thank you, Bill, for your sense of humor.
Thank you, Bill, for mowing the lawn.
Thank you, Bill, for sticking around.

Thank you, Momma, for giving me life.
Thank you, Momma, for caring for my friends growing up.
Thank you, Momma, for being a good example of work ethic.
Thank you, Momma, for standing up for me against your own mother.
Thank you, Momma, for taking care of me when I was sick.

Thank you, Crystal, for being my friend in addition to being my sister.
Thank you, Crystal, for always being willing to help with my kids.
Thank you, Crystal, for taking care of Momma.
Thank you, Crytsal, for your quilting talent.
Thank you, Crystal, for always encouraging me.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

28 Days of Gratitude - Day 2

Today I am grateful for cranberry apple granola because it makes my tummy happy.
I am grateful for my therapist because I feel better after talking to her.
I am grateful for my feeling productive yesterday because I got a lot done.
I am grateful for health insurance because it helps me get better care.
I am grateful for dreams because they fascinate me.
I am grateful for cooler days because it's nicer than hot weather.
I am grateful for melatonin for helping me get to sleep.
I am grateful for another day to live.
I am grateful for scrubs because it makes getting ready for work so simple.
I am grateful for clocks so that I can know what time it is.

Monday, August 22, 2016

28 Days of Gratitude - Day 1

Today I am grateful for rainbow socks because they make me smile.
I am grateful for the snooze button because the time in between alarms is when the bed is the comfiest.
I am grateful for my job because I enjoy being able to pay my bills.
I am grateful for Tiny Alpacacino because he makes me smile.
I am grateful for my older sister because she inspires and encourages creativity.
I am grateful for my washing machine because it is so much more convenient than any alternatives.
I am grateful for my home because it shelters us and keeps us safe.
I am grateful for insulin because it keeps me healthy.
I am grateful for school because my children aren't home all day.
I am grateful for finger nail clippers because they keep me from having ragged nails and snagging everything.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Summer blahs

Oh, summer.  Will we ever get along?  Probably not.

It's been a while.  At first it was because I was super busy.  Then it was because I was super blah.

My Random Balls of Happiness project kind of exploded for a minute, but has calmed down since.  I'm just letting it take its own course.  It's been really interesting to see the people I connect with on Instagram, and the other projects that are out there.  There's such a huge community of people trying to spread happiness and find and point out the beauty in the world.  It's amazing.




Even though my Happy Balls are kind of like therapy for me, and I've been feeling really good for a while, the clouds rolled in not too long ago.  I had hoped it was a PMS thing, and my therapist and psychiatrist think it could be hormonal, but I'm definitely struggling.  The psychiatrist is adjusting my medications and my therapist suggested that I keep track of my moods to see if it is related to my hormones in any way.  I really need more than 2 highlighters because I should have more than "happy" and "sad", but it's more like "good" and "bad" and I'm writing what's actually going on.  I HATE adjusting my Topamax dosage.  Good grief that stuff messes me up for a few days when I have to increase it.


The psychiatrist also gave me Lorazepam, which honestly scares the crap out of me because it's addictive.  It's prescribed to be taken as needed, and I've only taken it once since she prescribed it. I know people abuse the stuff, and I don't know how it makes people feel when they don't have anxiety/depression, but it just made me feel calm again and eventually I fell asleep.  Like I said, the stuff makes me nervous (ironic, an anti-anxiety medication making you anxious) because I don't want to be dependent on anything.  I've never even liked strong pain killers.  Plus, it's not often I have the luxury of being able to just knock myself out to cope with not being able to deal with life.  You know what I mean?  I have kids that need to be attended to, a job that I have to work.  It's not easy to schedule a nervous breakdown.  Trust me, I've been postponing mine for years now.

I'm actually having a good day so far.  It's not even 7am, but you know, I actually have a positive outlook on the day instead of feeling like finding the nearest cave and moving in.  Hopefully I can have a nice long yellow streak on the calendar.  PMS isn't supposed to hit for another week at any rate, anyway.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Black Jelly Bean

Saturday, Olivia went to spend the night with a friend, so we took advantage of the lack of pickiness and went to eat Chinese food.




Except Isabelle thought that meant we were going to the hibachi grill and was pouty.  I love Japanese food as much as the next guy, but it's expensive.  She got over it and ordered soup and was mildly disturbed by the "giant weeds" in it. LOL

After dinner, we took a walk at The Old Mill.  It was crowded with people trying to take pictures, which isn't unusual because it's a popular photography spot.  We dropped a few Random Balls of Happiness off.  There was a bride taking pictures and Isabelle tried to catch up with her to give her one of the balls, but didn't make it to her before she left.  Which, as it turns out was actually kind of serendipitous...




The ball Isabelle had was the gray ball at the top.  When we didn't make it back across the lake before the bride left, we found a tree and hung the ball.  I worried a bit about that ball because it was gray and a little dull.  It wasn't all bright and noticeable like most of my balls.  I worried that no one would find it.

Sunday, I got a message on Instagram from a lady asking me if she could buy some balls.  I didn't know her and she didn't mention knowing anyone in common, so I asked if she had found one of my balls.  She found the little gray ball at The Old Mill!  She's travelling to NY in a few weeks and wants to take some RBOH with her.

I'm pretty excited at how all of this is going.  I have lots of ideas brewing for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, the girls ran into the house to tell me they had found a kitten.  

This is never-ending, you guys....  we have some stray magnet, and I need to dig it up and get rid of it.

I refused to even listen to them.  I was just shy of plugging my ears and "la la la" -ing

Finally I look.

It was the smallest, scrawniest black kitten I've ever seen.  Dirty and starving.  Dang it.

So we cleaned it up.  It was pathetic.  Scratched up, crusty, scabby.  Skin and bones.  Fed it some canned food.  Bundled it up and kept it warm.  I told the girls it had to go straight to the shelter, though.  




I called the shelter and they pretty much said it'd die there.  I know that making you feel like crap is part of the game because they don't want to take in any animals, but they did have a point.   The cat needed more care than they had time for.  So I felt too guilty and ended up taking it to the vet instead.

Black Jelly Bean is  about 5 weeks old.  Malnourished, but otherwise looks OK.  We're syringe feeding him for a few days until he starts eating on his own.  I still want to find another home for him, we really have way too many animals already.  But at least he has a chance now.  Just need to find another sucker... I mean softy.... like me.  =)

Monday, May 23, 2016

Milestone: First graduation

I was always a bit disappointed that the girls never went to a school that did Kindergarten graduations.  I think it's adorable.  But they didn't.  So Olivia's Elementary graduation this past Friday was our first official "graduation" ceremony.

I honestly can't believe that I have a child entering Middle School next year.  And as I was looking at all the kids on the stage Friday night, not a single one of them looked old enough to be going into Middle School.  Babies, I tell you.  All little babies.

But My little Livi has made it.... from the first day of Kindergarten through fifth grade.




Oh, my goodness, her cheeks.  She had the best cheeks when she was little.  I really miss those chubby cheeks.

Mr. Bill acted like he didn't understand the point of Elementary graduation ceremonies, but I think he was proud all the same.  He at least managed one of his rare smiles for a picture.  Trust me, that's a HUGE deal.




I'm probably 200% more terrified of Middle School than Olivia is.  I'm just really not ready to see my little baby bird start spreading her wings, but I guess that's really not up to me, is it?

So Olivia.....


Thursday, May 19, 2016

A Week Off

Hellooooo!

So, I took a little time off of work.  It was wonderful.  So needed.  I really wish I didn't have to go back to work, but bills have to be paid.  Stupid bills.

My main goal was a lot of time alone.  While I did battle a little guilt and feeling selfish about that, it was absolutely necessary. You can't possibly imagine how theraputic hours of solitude is to me.  I couldn't take a Monday through Friday off because of other vacations previously scheduled, and I think it would have been even better if I had because there was a 3 day chunk of family in the middle of my solitude, but it was still very refreshing.  I feel so much better.

Thursday, I dropped the kids off at school (an unfortunate deal I make with the hubs when I am off work, it's torture) and went for a walk.  I had packed up my Happy Ball supplies and sat by the river and crocheted.  I made a fun rainbow Happy Ball and left it on a statue by the Two Rivers Bridge.




I went to the yarn shop nearby and bought some yarn that I just adore.  I gave the shop owner a Happy Ball.  To be honest, I don't really remember much else about the day..... it seemed to slip by too fast.  Poof, it was time for the girls to be out of school.

Friday was Bill Day.




I went to get my hair trimmed and then spent the day with that guy.  We had lunch together and were pretty bored, really.  We just wandered the mall.  We had a good time, we just were pretty aimless.

The weekend was our average weekend.

Monday I had planned on doing some heavy cleaning around the house after taking a long walk.  I dropped the kids off at school and took my walk.  It started raining on my last mile.  I got home, changed, and crawled into bed with Bill to warm up because I was chilled to the bone.  I woke up at 1:30p.m.

Needless to say, there wasn't much heavy cleaning going on.

Tuesday I did the cleaning.  I really hate cleaning, but it needed to be done.  Blah.

I did make a lot of Happy Balls along the way.




This isn't all of them because the girls stole quite a few to take to school along the way and I gave a few away.  I need to mail off a few batches.  I have a list of 5 or 6 people still who want some.

Yesterday was my last day off, so I decided to spend it out on my own again.  I took the girls to school and it was too early to really do much, so I went home and napped with Bill for just a little bit.  I got up and went to IHOP and had a late breakfast.  Then I went and watched Mother's Day.  I have never been to see a movie by myself.  I like not having to worry about what someone else wants to see.  Of course, there really wasn't anything playing I really cared about seeing.  The movie wasn't bad, though.  After that I went back to the yarn shop, again....




The shop owner had my Happy Ball on display on the knitting needle rack =).  Of course, I had to get more yarn because I have a problem (who doesn't LOL) and I had an hour to kill before having to pick up the girls so I sat and crocheted.  There were 4 other ladies there knitting and eating lunch.  They were all very nice.  I finished 2 balls and gave them to 2 of the ladies when I left.

After I got the girls, I had to go to the library because I needed to pick up the third season of Doctor Who (I'm just now watching these.... the season finales are killing me each time people.  How do you do this?)  We had left a Happy Ball there about a month ago and one of the librarians found it and posted it on Instagram.  It was actually the first time someone used the hashtag #randomballofhappiness on Instagram besides me and my friends.  Well, she was at the library and recognized Zoe from a picture I posted.

She looked at me and asked, "Do you knit or crochet?"

"I crochet."

"Do you crochet little balls?"

"Yes."

"Do you crochet little balls of happiness?"

"Yes.  Yes, I do."

She was so excited.  She said they were so tickled to have been yarn bombed and she couldn't wait to tell one of the other librarians that she had ran into me.  I felt almost famous or something.

Anyway....

I have an idea brewing with these little balls for Father's Day.  It's in the cooking stage.  And I"m going to post the pattern for the balls for anyone who wants it in a few days when I get the time.  So look for that.....


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