Thursday, May 7, 2015


Saturday, I was sitting in my recliner after saying goodbye to Bill as he went to work.  He'd been gone for a few minutes when I heard the kitchen door slowly open and close.  The girls are always in and out, so I thought nothing of it.  But then the girls ran past me towards the kitchen and started squealing in excitement. 

"Mom! Mom!  There's a kitten in the kitchen!"

We don't have a kitten.  I don't know how old Killer is, but she's certainly well past kitten stage (I suspect she's pretty old, in fact).  But, sure enough, my kids were holding a TINY little kitten.

I ran outside, and Bill was still in the driveway.  He said the neighbor kids were walking by, followed by a tiny little kitten.  They asked if we knew anything about her, and said she'd been following them around all day.  They couldn't take her home because their mom was allergic.  So, Bill took the kitten and just put her in the house without a word.

Her name is Mischief Maker.  Killer has her moments with her.  She's been nice to her, and she's growled at her.  Mostly, she's just a grumpy old lady who has no patience for the young whippersnapper, though.  Ollie is in LOVE.  He thinks Mischief is the best thing that has ever happened.  It's so funny, because he's a big dog, and Mischief is so tiny.  She hides from him when he gets too hyper, but she's pretty fearless otherwise and they do play.  When he's crated while we're out of the house, we always come back to see her sitting by the crate.

In other news, I know I didn't even give it half a shot, but I canceled my Weight Watchers.  I went to a meeting and it just didn't feel right.  Plus, I had to not only count points, but I had to also look up carbs for what I was eating, so it was actually more work than counting calories because most calorie counting apps are going to show carbs....  WW doesn't.

And another reason.  Lantus is expensive and I needed to cut some corners.  Lantus.  Blah.  I went to the doctor Monday and am now on insulin. 

It's not THAT bad, I suppose.  Insulin needles are so small that you literally can't feel them and Lantus is a long-acting type of insulin that you only have to take once a day, as opposed to several times with some other types.  I'm really glad about all of that, but it's EXPENSIVE.  $250 a vial, which is all out of pocket for me until my stupidly high deductible has been met (which would be several months even with that expense going on). 

It's not helping yet.  It could take a few weeks to get the proper dosage, which is pretty frustrating.  I'm supposed to increase my dose by 5 units every 5 days until we start seeing normal numbers.  I get so angry when I check my blood sugar and it's still too high.  Especially when I've eaten something like a salad with only 30g of carbs.  If my blood sugar is over 200, I want to have eaten some ice cream or pasta or something to justify it, you know.  Ugh, it makes me so mad.

My nurse, though.... she's just the sweetest person ever.  I explained everything going on in my life the past month and she almost cried.  She said "and you wonder why you can't get your blood sugar down?"  I know stress is making it worse, I KNOW.  But it doesn't make it less frustrating.  We're getting my mom moved this weekend, and I'm hoping.... praying.... that things will settle and I can relax a bit.  I'm sure once we get into our new "normal", school will be out and that will just be another bout of chaos though.  C'est la vie, right?

Friday, May 1, 2015

Well, wonders never cease!

6 years ago, Bill and I packed up the girls and took a long vacation to visit his scattered family. We live in Arkansas, they live in Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and New York (upstate, not NYC).  We haven't made the trip since.

I've tried. I would sit down to plan every summer for a few years, but Bill would veto the idea. We can't do it in just a week and 2 weeks at a time is too much to take off work. No one would come visit us, why should we go visit them? It's too hard with 3 small kids. He had excuses....

His Mom visited. His Dad and sister visited. His Grandma and Aunt visited. He really couldn't use that excuse any more. The other excuses, while somewhat valid, but not insurmountable, were still tossed my way when I would bring it up.

I eventually just stopped bringing it up.

And, to be honest, he just grew more and more distant from his family every year.  Months would go by without him talking to his parents. Again, I'd try to nudge him into calling, but I eventually just let it be. I do what I can to keep his family in the loop, but I can't force him to have a relationship with them.

It's been that way for a few years now.

But sometimes things happen that make you realize what you have, and I think my father's death was one of those things for Bill.

I noticed over the weekend he was Googling lodging in NY.  I asked what was up...

We're taking a vacation this summer. Two weeks have been requested and approved. An unexpected check even arrived to fund a good portion of the trip. We're headed East in August to visit Bill's family!


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