Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Thinks I think

This week, I have seen three different people working out while using their cell phone.  Really?  You can't put it down for half an hour?  Two people were on the recumbent bikes.  So, OK... there's really nothing to do with your hands there, so I can kind of see that.  I was on the recumbent bike today and was wondering if it would be possible to knit or crochet (probably a sign of a slight problem there...), so I won't be too harsh on those people.  But the elliptical?  Girl, put it up.  You're going to hurt yourself.

The tooth fairy came today.  The girls woke me up at 3:30 this morning... I found Olivia and Izzy on the couch, each with a cereal box, watching Alladin (which is the only thing on the DVR they've figure out how to play... because it's the first on the list).  I tried to get them back to bed, but when Bill finally rolled in at 4:45, they were still awake.  So I went to take a shower and when I got out, there was some panic going on in the kitchen.  Olivia was freaking out because she was bleeding.  Bill was calm, so I knew it wasn't anything serious.  I made it to the kitchen and he showed me her tooth... freshly "plucked."  That makes me want to hurl.  Still.  I am proud of Bill for handling it, because he's as squeamish as I am when it comes to bloody mouths and teeth dangling from gums.  Olivia got $2.  She wanted a bracelet or a necklace.  Our tooth fairy isn't quite that generous, I'm afraid.  She might actually be disappointed, though.  She really doesn't care about money. I remembered today that she had received $5 in a card for her birthday last week and I hadn't seen it since.  She has no idea what she did with it and doesn't care.  So there's a $5 bill floating around here somewhere.

Tomorrow is our first visit to the dentist for fillings.  I'm desperately hoping this isn't traumatic.

I'm going to bed early tonight. 

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My head hurts

I woke up with a pounding headache and I'm going to go to bed with one.  Blech.

I had to go to the doctor AGAIN today.  I had an infection on my arm with some cellulitis, which freaked me out and I was afraid my arm would fall off if I didn't go because that's just my luck lately.  So now that's all taken care of, or will be with the nifty ointment I have now.  =p

When I went a few weeks ago to be diagnosed with diabetes, I didn't see my PCP... I saw one of his partners.  So I had to go through all of it again today.  He put me on Metformin... he said he puts everyone on it.  Fine.  I start it tomorrow.  He also is sending me for labwork to check my cholesterol and warned me I'd probably end up on meds for that.  He said he only has 2 diabetic patients who aren't on it because he feels it's very important to keep that in check because diabetes and heart disease come hand in hand a lot of times.  So I'm looking at becoming a walking medicine cabinet.  Joy of joys.  But whatever I gotta do, right?  Oh, and I mentioned that lately my feet get cold easily, and I've never been one to wear socks or slippers much, but I break out thick wooly socks all the time now.  So I get to have my thyroid checked, too, because intolerance to cold is a symptom of thyroid problems.  Not that I'm generally cold most of the time, because I'm usually the one complaining that it's hot... it's just my feet... but whatever.  I swear, my body is just going to spontaneously combust on my 35th birthday in December.

I took the girls to the rec center for the first time tonight.  I've been so afraid they'd be terrors, because at home they have been.  But all went well.  I got to walk for about 45 minutes before my legs decided they were not going to keep up with my brain and I got lapped by an old guy.  The girls want me to take them every time, which would be fine if it didn't cost me $6 each time.  That adds up quickly.  I told them I'd bring them a couple times a week, but if Daddy could watch them, Daddy will watch them.  They didn't really like that answer... or me telling them that I wasn't stopping at McDonald's on the way home.  Because they had already had dinner.  And I spent all my money for child care.  And they don't need McD's even if I had money and they hadn't eaten dinner.  They think I'm just awful =)

My complete lack of desire to deal with reality lately has caused some major, and I do mean major, issues with the budget.  To the point that Bill is insisting on getting involved.  He's mentioned helping me out before, but he's pretty serious about it now.  At least he's being very understanding.  We haven't fought over money at all, and there has been plenty of opportunity for a good fight or two.  He offered to take total control of it, but I told him I can't let it go completely.  I'm too much of a control freak.  Which sounds pretty stupid since it's way out of control, but at least I know it.

Basically, the past month has been crap.  Kick in the teeth wake up calls all around.  But the good news is that I'm not in a ball in the corner sucking my thumb.  I'm trying to face everything head on and do what has to be done to fix everything I've screwed up.  I'm hoping by the end of the year I'll feel like I have regained control of life in all aspects.  This was supposed to be my "year of control" but it turned out to be just the opposite.  It'll be OK though.  Important lessons learned.  Let's move forward.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Thoughts before bedtime

Diabetic education this morning.  Ugh.  Got a free meter though, so that was good.  I don't think it's the kind with the cheap strips though, so you know, maybe not so good.  We'll just have to see.  The counselor was talking about Metformin, which is the oral meds I would go on if I can't control my diabetes with diet.  And to be honest, she didn't exactly make me think it was something I wanted to avoid.  It's cheap and has little side effects other than maybe lowering cholesterol and promoting weight loss.  Not that I'm going to aim for meds, or anything.  But since we checked my blood sugar 3 hours after eating a meal that was well within my limits... and it was too high... it may be something I will be looking at.  =p

I really dislike my landlady.  For real. 

My hubby has been really excellent lately.  Very supportive, even with as cranky as I've been.  He's offered to eat whatever I need to eat.  He's even offered to take over bill paying, because that is just something my brain isn't dealing with very well.  I told him we can do it together.

I like his new schedule.  To a point.  He's always awake when I get up in the morning and I'm not a morning person.  He likes to talk.  A lot.  Like the guy is afraid of silence.  He even mumbles to himself when he has no one to talk to.  I'm serious.  So I get up and he just starts rambling on about... well, I'm not even awake enough to comprehend what he's talking about.  He's just talking.  And I'm trying to seem like it's not as annoying as it really is.  I tried to explain it to him this afternoon, but I have a feeling that it won't change anything.  Other than maybe him talking even more now that he knows it bugs me.

I've just been coo-coo roller coaster emotional lately.  Pissed off at the world.  Stressed out.  That's why I'm just blah blah blah-ing right now. 

I have this friend.  And I was ugly to him a few days ago.  I've been really upset with him anyway over things that happened years ago that just seem to come back around and bug me from time to time.  He just sent me a little message to let me know he was thinking about me and I pretty much bit his head off.  He called me to the table on it and I just told him I couldn't help how I felt and that I needed to just not have him in my life right now.  I was pretty shocked I did it and even more shocked that I felt better after I did it.  But then I had this horrible nightmare and I woke up and looked at my phone to see what time it was and noticed I had a message from him that was sent literally three minutes before.  He said that he would still be around when I was ready and that if he had to deal with me lashing out at him 100 times he would.  He actually suggested that I start blogging more, just to let off steam.  So why not? 

Anyway.  I need the bed.  I'm spacing out. 


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