Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My head hurts

I woke up with a pounding headache and I'm going to go to bed with one.  Blech.

I had to go to the doctor AGAIN today.  I had an infection on my arm with some cellulitis, which freaked me out and I was afraid my arm would fall off if I didn't go because that's just my luck lately.  So now that's all taken care of, or will be with the nifty ointment I have now.  =p

When I went a few weeks ago to be diagnosed with diabetes, I didn't see my PCP... I saw one of his partners.  So I had to go through all of it again today.  He put me on Metformin... he said he puts everyone on it.  Fine.  I start it tomorrow.  He also is sending me for labwork to check my cholesterol and warned me I'd probably end up on meds for that.  He said he only has 2 diabetic patients who aren't on it because he feels it's very important to keep that in check because diabetes and heart disease come hand in hand a lot of times.  So I'm looking at becoming a walking medicine cabinet.  Joy of joys.  But whatever I gotta do, right?  Oh, and I mentioned that lately my feet get cold easily, and I've never been one to wear socks or slippers much, but I break out thick wooly socks all the time now.  So I get to have my thyroid checked, too, because intolerance to cold is a symptom of thyroid problems.  Not that I'm generally cold most of the time, because I'm usually the one complaining that it's hot... it's just my feet... but whatever.  I swear, my body is just going to spontaneously combust on my 35th birthday in December.

I took the girls to the rec center for the first time tonight.  I've been so afraid they'd be terrors, because at home they have been.  But all went well.  I got to walk for about 45 minutes before my legs decided they were not going to keep up with my brain and I got lapped by an old guy.  The girls want me to take them every time, which would be fine if it didn't cost me $6 each time.  That adds up quickly.  I told them I'd bring them a couple times a week, but if Daddy could watch them, Daddy will watch them.  They didn't really like that answer... or me telling them that I wasn't stopping at McDonald's on the way home.  Because they had already had dinner.  And I spent all my money for child care.  And they don't need McD's even if I had money and they hadn't eaten dinner.  They think I'm just awful =)

My complete lack of desire to deal with reality lately has caused some major, and I do mean major, issues with the budget.  To the point that Bill is insisting on getting involved.  He's mentioned helping me out before, but he's pretty serious about it now.  At least he's being very understanding.  We haven't fought over money at all, and there has been plenty of opportunity for a good fight or two.  He offered to take total control of it, but I told him I can't let it go completely.  I'm too much of a control freak.  Which sounds pretty stupid since it's way out of control, but at least I know it.

Basically, the past month has been crap.  Kick in the teeth wake up calls all around.  But the good news is that I'm not in a ball in the corner sucking my thumb.  I'm trying to face everything head on and do what has to be done to fix everything I've screwed up.  I'm hoping by the end of the year I'll feel like I have regained control of life in all aspects.  This was supposed to be my "year of control" but it turned out to be just the opposite.  It'll be OK though.  Important lessons learned.  Let's move forward.

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