6 years ago, Bill and I packed up the girls and took a long vacation to visit his scattered family. We live in Arkansas, they live in Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and New York (upstate, not NYC). We haven't made the trip since.
I've tried. I would sit down to plan every summer for a few years, but Bill would veto the idea. We can't do it in just a week and 2 weeks at a time is too much to take off work. No one would come visit us, why should we go visit them? It's too hard with 3 small kids. He had excuses....
His Mom visited. His Dad and sister visited. His Grandma and Aunt visited. He really couldn't use that excuse any more. The other excuses, while somewhat valid, but not insurmountable, were still tossed my way when I would bring it up.
I eventually just stopped bringing it up.
And, to be honest, he just grew more and more distant from his family every year. Months would go by without him talking to his parents. Again, I'd try to nudge him into calling, but I eventually just let it be. I do what I can to keep his family in the loop, but I can't force him to have a relationship with them.
It's been that way for a few years now.
But sometimes things happen that make you realize what you have, and I think my father's death was one of those things for Bill.
I noticed over the weekend he was Googling lodging in NY. I asked what was up...
We're taking a vacation this summer. Two weeks have been requested and approved. An unexpected check even arrived to fund a good portion of the trip. We're headed East in August to visit Bill's family!