Thursday, September 10, 2009

Silly me...

Sarah reminded me that I never gave any updates on quitting smoking.

Well... I'd have to go back to see when my actual quit date was supposed to be. And I'm too lazy for that tonight. But I didn't do it then. I tried. I cut back. Eventually I was down to 2 or 3 a day and still couldn't bear to just stop. I was hiding it from my husband - who had quit with me. My justificaiton was that if I was hiding it, I was less likely to smoke more than the couple I was smoking. He knew, of course. But I needed to think he didn't.

We went on vacation in mid-June. My last cigarette was a few days before we left. Driving for 3 days didn't really leave me any opportunity to smoke and then staying with relatives... it just always feels rude to me to excuse myself to smoke. By the time we got home I honestly had forgotten all about smoking. Maybe it helped to have cut down so much beforehand, so I didn't have the physical withdrawal as badly as I could have and then being so busy overshadowed any psychological withdrawal.

On occassion I'll miss going outside and taking a break from life, because that's what smoking was for me - a break. I didn't smoke in the house, so in order to smoke, I was away from my kids, the noise, often my husband. At work, I would have to leave the hospital campus, so I had to drive around the neighborhood. I do miss that. Not the cigarettes or nicotine, just the getting away from it all. But when I do think about it, it's a fleeting thought, not a huge craving that I struggle with. I'm very happy and proud of it. =)

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