Semi-normal

My Mom is still in the hospital, but last night the doctor told us that he'd be meeting with her physical and occupational therapists to discuss when she can go home.  Fingers crossed it will be within the next day or so.

My sister and I have been looking for a place for Mom to live closer to us.  We've visited 2 different retirement communities.  The first one is really close to where I live, but the feel of the building was very industrial.... the whole building is concrete and steel, so it lacked a bit of warmth.  The second one we visited is close to where my sister works, and where she's trying to find a house to move into herself.  This one was pretty much perfect.  The place had the same feel as the retirement community she lives in now, very warm and friendly.  My sister and I were there for almost 3 hours!  They invited us to bring Momma on Thursday so she can see it.  If she hasn't been released from the hospital, the doctor said he'll give her a pass to leave for a few hours.

My Mom has a really positive attitude about everything.  She knows how difficult it will be to go back to their apartment after she gets out of the hospital, but she's ready to move on and begin a new life.  It's sad, but I'm so relieved that she's able to look forward.

In the meantime, I have to regain my focus on my own health.  I was doing a fair job at getting my blood sugar numbers back to normal, although no matter how few carbs I ate, I just couldn't quite get it there.  But, the past 2 weeks I've just lost all control and they're back to being WAY too high.  The medication I'm on just isn't going to be the solution.  It's not that I don't expect to have to do my part with diet and exercise, but it's pretty obvious that my numbers were going down because of diet and exercise and not the meds.  I know the stress I've been under isn't helping, either, but I can't keep

I know the doctor is going to insist on insulin, it's just a matter of when.  On one hand I'm just ready to throw in the towel and say OK.  From the little bit I've learned about it, it would be much easier to correct my blood sugar if it went too high than it is now.  It will probably take me a week or two to get my numbers back where I had them, and that wasn't even where I needed them to be.  But there is still part of me that is scared.  I think I'm more afraid of what's happening to me while this is out of control, though.