Thursday, October 4, 2012

Life is change...

I have been trying to find time to post for over a week, but my time management skills kind of suck.  =)

I've been carrying on with my little (big) weight loss journey, which eats up most of my evening.  I've lost 17.5 lbs.  It's a slow journey, but that's OK.  At the beginning of September, I went vegetarian.  I intended for it to just be a 30 day thing, but I haven't gone back yet.  Of course, today I'm craving chicken something crazy, but then again, I'm craving just about everything under the sun today.  I've been fighting a migraine - you'd think I'd be nauseous, but no... I want to eat everything in sight.  So I'm taking it easy tonight and skipping my workout.  I'll probably hit the bed as soon as I'm done here.

On Saturday, this turkey is going to be 8.


Not sure how that happened.  Just yesterday she was a chipmunk-cheeked baby and now she thinks she's almost grown.  She's definitely giving me a preview of years to come, attitude-wise.

A few weekends ago, we took a little family trip for Mr. Bill & my 10th anniversary.  Yeah, I know... we're supposed to do these things alone.  We had a good time, though.  For the first time in a long time, I read a book.  I crocheted.  I played with my camera.  All things I've been neglecting. 

Sadly, I'm pretty all-or-nothing with my extra-curricular activities.  I'm trying, though.  The girls have made their requests for Halloween costumes, so I'm trying to work those in.  I'm doing The Color Run (walking, not running) with my sister and a friend in November, and committed to making something for our team.  So I'm trying very hard to be better about how I spend my time.

As soon as I'm done with costumes, I have found my next project and it's really what's motivating me to crochet...

Seriously, I would wear this all. the. time.  I love it.  I want to get all my other projects over and done with so I can make this.  The designer has some of the best patterns I've stumbled across in a long time.

I had to do something very difficult this week.  Not that they think so, they think I was just being hateful, but I had to burn a couple of bridges... very old bridges.  I've had quite a few "a ha!" moments the past few months.  Sometimes it's not until you are past a dark part of your life that you can see how dark it was.  Changing my body has brought forth a lot of changes mentally, as well.  I think it just has to.  There's an album by Seether called Holding On To Strings Better Left To Fray and that title has always resonated with me, because I did hold on to things that made me feel unworthy and angry and bitter.  Things that should have been left behind long ago, but I was too afraid of not having these people in my life that I thought I could get past the hurt.  I feel like I've become such a much more happy and positive person in general the past few months, yet these people would come up and I'd feel so hateful and ugly and angry.  It wasn't fair for me to be like that towards them, and it wasn't good for me.  I tried to just leave the strings to fray, I guess, but I felt like ignoring them was just being really passive-aggressive, so I just told them I was done.  Harsh... I'm sure.  I tried not to be hateful, and left countless things unsaid as a result, but I know I came off cold.  For that, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry that I finally gave myself permission to not just let them think a monthly "I miss you" qualified as a friendship.  There is that little bit of the old me that would have walked across broken glass for them that is in shock, but I just want to close that chapter of my life and not be held down by the negativity. 

Yay for ending my post on a downer!  LOL  Let's see if I can perk things up...

(Our inspiration for our team for The Color Run)


  1. I've missed you! I was actually thinking about you today, hoping you were doing ok. I burned a bridge this month too. Well, she did, I just put up the "do not rebuild" sign. I'm very proud/impressed/inspired by your weight loss! Keep up the good work, Jennifer! Miss your posts and pictures though.

    1. You're so sweet. Hopefully I can make myself sit down and blog more. I'm just so used to crafty blogging and now that I'm not doing much of it, I forget. =)



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