I'm such a slug.
So, I had to cancel my plans to do the New Years Double half-marathons at the end of the year. Did I mention this? It just was a bad time to travel, financially. I really, really wanted to do these races, but it was coming down to spending Zoe's birthday with her or doing these races, because I'd have to go alone. Of course, I picked my daughter. And now I have zero motivation to get moving. I have mentally given up at the moment. I have a half on the schedule in two weeks, one that I registered for and skipped last year, and there's a big part of me that's just like "Forget it. Forget next year. Forget making your goal of 13 before 40. Just forget it." The weather has been crappy the past few Sundays, so I'm not getting my long walks in.... I messed up the treadmill trying to lube it and then jacked up the plug on it the same night.... And I'm TIRED. I need to make myself move, I know I'll feel better, I just am having such a hard time getting there.
I have a huge mental block on this Santa doll. I could have very easily finished it by now but I hate it. I despise every minute I devote to it. Extreme and stupid, I know. I can't help it. I just need to buckle down and finish it to be finished with it. I have a lot of other projects I want to do, but won't let myself start until this is finished. But even those aren't as exciting as they should be to me. Once the girls go to bed, all I really feel like doing is curling up on the couch and watching American Horror Story.
I know I am dealing with a bit of depression due to the season and just because I deal with it more often than not. I'm trying to keep my head up, but trust me, if hibernation was an option, I'd be there.
I am really excited about the holidays, though. Our first Christmas in our new house. I've whitewashed our fireplace... my first home improvement project. I wanted to get it done before decorating for Christmas. I have so many plans in my head. I have no idea what to get the girls for Christmas. I had this whole thing planned out before cancelling our trip. They wanted American Girl dolls, and we were going to Dallas where there is an American Girl store..... so I was really excited to get them each a doll and then tell them we could go to the AG store and they could take the dolls to the salon and all that jazz.....
But then, all of a sudden, they don't even want an AG doll anymore. And then I canceled our trip. So my entire plan is shot.
Now they want phones. I am of the school of thinking that if you are still young enough to believe in Santa, you're too young to be asking Santa to bring you a phone.
Books and shoes. That's what they'll be getting. Books and shoes.