I'm torn today. I don't want to go to work and it will mean that my husband doesn't get much sleep since the kids are out of school. But... it's not fair for me to get to stay home when everyone else has to go to work. I know it's not fair. But it would make my life so much easier.
People without kids and people with older kids usually take issue with people who have kids that cannot be left alone when they have to take time off of work. And I realize that it's not really fair. Your home life shouldn't give you special privileges at work. But there is just no way for it not to be an issue, unless you're lucky enough to have someone who can take care of your kids no matter what.
I don't.
Then, in the medical field, you have the issue that some people are vital where some are not. I am not vital to the operation of the facility on a daily basis. Nurses are. But if I'm not required to come in when they are, it's not fair. I don't have quite the sympathy on that one.
Bill's schedule is really going to be a problem come summer. When the girls are at home, he doesn't (or at least shouldn't) get any sleep. That's really tough on a person. And then I worry all the time about my sleep-deprived husband watching our kids. Last summer I had to work half-days the last few weeks of summer break because it was becoming a BIG problem. He'd stay in bed and sleep even after the girls got up. They got out of the house, made huge messes.... it was not good. And his schedule is even worse now. He at least got home in time to sleep a few hours before they got up (or he should have been able to... sometimes he worked late) but now he wouldn't get to sleep until I get home from work and that just isn't going to work out for us.
Basically, my life would be infinitely better (aside from the fact that we would be beyond broke) if I didn't work. If I could figure out how we could do it and not have to eat Ramen noodles and beans all week long, I really would stay home.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Ice cream, anyone?
As I mentioned before, this week's reward for the girls not losing all their marbles was a trip to the ice cream shop. We have a fairly new place in town called Scrumdiliumptious. Try saying that 10 times fast. Heck, try typing it. It's a cute little shop, with a combination theme of Harry Potter and Willy Wonka. They had one of the Harry Potter movies playing and the girls were just entranced. They're not really old enough for Harry Potter and it kind of freaked the girls out, but not bad enough to need to do something about it.
So much ice cream, so little time...
Isabelle and Zoe got Bubble Gum ice cream, which I found really disgusting. First of all, I'm not a fan of blue food. And secondly, ice cream shouldn't be bubble gum flavored, in my opinion.
Isabelle disagrees...
Olivia had chocolate with M&Ms. It really bothers Bill that Olivia's pronunciation of M&Ms is more like "enemas."
Whatever you call it, it's good.
I behaved and just had a single cup of espresso chip. Bill had a monster concoction called Augustus Galoop or something like that. It looked really good.
Better than blue ice cream anyway.
After getting the girls all sugared up, we did something that normally induces sheer terror in Isabelle...
Workin' at the carwash.....
She loved it though. In fact, I think it was actually her idea. Bill pretended the carwash was a whale and we were swallowed by it. And, because my family is gross, we traveled through the intestines and eventually got pooped out at the end. Yeah...
Friday, January 7, 2011
They didn't lose their marbles...
All of them anyway.
We're trying out a new system to try to get the girls to behave a little better. They start out at the beginning of the week with a jar of marbles and if they break a rule, they lose marbles. At the end of the week, if they haven't lost all their marbles, they get a reward. This week's reward is a trip to the ice cream shop. Anyone who really knows my girls can probably guess that Isabelle's jar is in the middle. She's a tough nut... Our biggest issue this week was that we are trying to keep them out of our bed at night (and still sleep). It's been a rough week in that department. The first few nights, they would get up and go watch TV since they couldn't get into our bedroom. I had to hide the TV remote and lock the playroom and threaten to take all of their marbles before I finally had a full night of sleep. I know it will still take some time before they are used to it, I'm trying to be patient. Exhausted Mommy isn't naturally patient though...
I'm thinking we might change a few things up for the next week. Maybe have them earn their marbles, but lose them if they break a rule. It's not a perfect system just yet. And I need to come up with a reward for next week. I don't mind splurging on movies or ice cream every so often, but we can't do that every week. And I think we need a big huge reward after so many consecutive nights of sleeping in their room. Like maybe bunk beds. They really want bunk beds, but I have two reservations.... the first being my fear that they'll fall and break something (their father broke his collarbone falling out of a bunkbed) and the second is knowing that they'll fight over who gets the top bunk. Well, there's the third... the fact that there are 3 of them and only 2 beds. Someone will get a normal bed and they will not be happy. I'll figure it out somehow.
One a different, but not really all that different note, I think I've decided what my first One Little Change will be...
I am going to make sure I sit down and read to the girls every day. At least 2 books, and not just at bedtime. All 4 of us love books, and I do love to read to them. But some days I wait until bedtime and the girls are just too wound up or I'm to worn out to really get into it and I either speed read the shortest book I can find or skip story-time altogether.
Tonight the girls started getting a little wild about 6pm, which isn't unusual for them. They start to get tired and lose their minds. =) Daddy was getting upset at the noise and running, and I wasn't in the mood to have one more person adding to the chaos, so I decided to set down my crocheting and just declare Story Time. The girls ran to get me about 10 books (not exaggerating) and piled up on the couch with me. Isabelle got antsy after about 3 books and wandered off to play, but the other two sat through about 6 before the UPS guy dropped off a package and we got totally derailed. Luckily he had delivered a puzzle I ordered for them. They adore floor puzzles. I haven't had a lot of luck with smaller puzzles with them. I think it's that the floor puzzles are big enough for all three of them to work on it at once.
But, back to my point... Story Time did calm the Wild Ones for a bit. It definitely needs to be a ritual around here.
We're trying out a new system to try to get the girls to behave a little better. They start out at the beginning of the week with a jar of marbles and if they break a rule, they lose marbles. At the end of the week, if they haven't lost all their marbles, they get a reward. This week's reward is a trip to the ice cream shop. Anyone who really knows my girls can probably guess that Isabelle's jar is in the middle. She's a tough nut... Our biggest issue this week was that we are trying to keep them out of our bed at night (and still sleep). It's been a rough week in that department. The first few nights, they would get up and go watch TV since they couldn't get into our bedroom. I had to hide the TV remote and lock the playroom and threaten to take all of their marbles before I finally had a full night of sleep. I know it will still take some time before they are used to it, I'm trying to be patient. Exhausted Mommy isn't naturally patient though...
I'm thinking we might change a few things up for the next week. Maybe have them earn their marbles, but lose them if they break a rule. It's not a perfect system just yet. And I need to come up with a reward for next week. I don't mind splurging on movies or ice cream every so often, but we can't do that every week. And I think we need a big huge reward after so many consecutive nights of sleeping in their room. Like maybe bunk beds. They really want bunk beds, but I have two reservations.... the first being my fear that they'll fall and break something (their father broke his collarbone falling out of a bunkbed) and the second is knowing that they'll fight over who gets the top bunk. Well, there's the third... the fact that there are 3 of them and only 2 beds. Someone will get a normal bed and they will not be happy. I'll figure it out somehow.
One a different, but not really all that different note, I think I've decided what my first One Little Change will be...
I am going to make sure I sit down and read to the girls every day. At least 2 books, and not just at bedtime. All 4 of us love books, and I do love to read to them. But some days I wait until bedtime and the girls are just too wound up or I'm to worn out to really get into it and I either speed read the shortest book I can find or skip story-time altogether.
Tonight the girls started getting a little wild about 6pm, which isn't unusual for them. They start to get tired and lose their minds. =) Daddy was getting upset at the noise and running, and I wasn't in the mood to have one more person adding to the chaos, so I decided to set down my crocheting and just declare Story Time. The girls ran to get me about 10 books (not exaggerating) and piled up on the couch with me. Isabelle got antsy after about 3 books and wandered off to play, but the other two sat through about 6 before the UPS guy dropped off a package and we got totally derailed. Luckily he had delivered a puzzle I ordered for them. They adore floor puzzles. I haven't had a lot of luck with smaller puzzles with them. I think it's that the floor puzzles are big enough for all three of them to work on it at once.
But, back to my point... Story Time did calm the Wild Ones for a bit. It definitely needs to be a ritual around here.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
One Little Change
I followed a link on one of the blogs I follow to this blog and I love the idea. I'm always trying to just force a bunch of change all at once, and it NEVER works. So... I'm going to focus on one little change at a time. I need to look over my goals and see what to begin with. Stay tuned....
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Thinks I think
This week, I have seen three different people working out while using their cell phone. Really? You can't put it down for half an hour? Two people were on the recumbent bikes. So, OK... there's really nothing to do with your hands there, so I can kind of see that. I was on the recumbent bike today and was wondering if it would be possible to knit or crochet (probably a sign of a slight problem there...), so I won't be too harsh on those people. But the elliptical? Girl, put it up. You're going to hurt yourself.
The tooth fairy came today. The girls woke me up at 3:30 this morning... I found Olivia and Izzy on the couch, each with a cereal box, watching Alladin (which is the only thing on the DVR they've figure out how to play... because it's the first on the list). I tried to get them back to bed, but when Bill finally rolled in at 4:45, they were still awake. So I went to take a shower and when I got out, there was some panic going on in the kitchen. Olivia was freaking out because she was bleeding. Bill was calm, so I knew it wasn't anything serious. I made it to the kitchen and he showed me her tooth... freshly "plucked." That makes me want to hurl. Still. I am proud of Bill for handling it, because he's as squeamish as I am when it comes to bloody mouths and teeth dangling from gums. Olivia got $2. She wanted a bracelet or a necklace. Our tooth fairy isn't quite that generous, I'm afraid. She might actually be disappointed, though. She really doesn't care about money. I remembered today that she had received $5 in a card for her birthday last week and I hadn't seen it since. She has no idea what she did with it and doesn't care. So there's a $5 bill floating around here somewhere.
Tomorrow is our first visit to the dentist for fillings. I'm desperately hoping this isn't traumatic.
I'm going to bed early tonight.
The tooth fairy came today. The girls woke me up at 3:30 this morning... I found Olivia and Izzy on the couch, each with a cereal box, watching Alladin (which is the only thing on the DVR they've figure out how to play... because it's the first on the list). I tried to get them back to bed, but when Bill finally rolled in at 4:45, they were still awake. So I went to take a shower and when I got out, there was some panic going on in the kitchen. Olivia was freaking out because she was bleeding. Bill was calm, so I knew it wasn't anything serious. I made it to the kitchen and he showed me her tooth... freshly "plucked." That makes me want to hurl. Still. I am proud of Bill for handling it, because he's as squeamish as I am when it comes to bloody mouths and teeth dangling from gums. Olivia got $2. She wanted a bracelet or a necklace. Our tooth fairy isn't quite that generous, I'm afraid. She might actually be disappointed, though. She really doesn't care about money. I remembered today that she had received $5 in a card for her birthday last week and I hadn't seen it since. She has no idea what she did with it and doesn't care. So there's a $5 bill floating around here somewhere.
Tomorrow is our first visit to the dentist for fillings. I'm desperately hoping this isn't traumatic.
I'm going to bed early tonight.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
My head hurts
I woke up with a pounding headache and I'm going to go to bed with one. Blech.
I had to go to the doctor AGAIN today. I had an infection on my arm with some cellulitis, which freaked me out and I was afraid my arm would fall off if I didn't go because that's just my luck lately. So now that's all taken care of, or will be with the nifty ointment I have now. =p
When I went a few weeks ago to be diagnosed with diabetes, I didn't see my PCP... I saw one of his partners. So I had to go through all of it again today. He put me on Metformin... he said he puts everyone on it. Fine. I start it tomorrow. He also is sending me for labwork to check my cholesterol and warned me I'd probably end up on meds for that. He said he only has 2 diabetic patients who aren't on it because he feels it's very important to keep that in check because diabetes and heart disease come hand in hand a lot of times. So I'm looking at becoming a walking medicine cabinet. Joy of joys. But whatever I gotta do, right? Oh, and I mentioned that lately my feet get cold easily, and I've never been one to wear socks or slippers much, but I break out thick wooly socks all the time now. So I get to have my thyroid checked, too, because intolerance to cold is a symptom of thyroid problems. Not that I'm generally cold most of the time, because I'm usually the one complaining that it's hot... it's just my feet... but whatever. I swear, my body is just going to spontaneously combust on my 35th birthday in December.
I took the girls to the rec center for the first time tonight. I've been so afraid they'd be terrors, because at home they have been. But all went well. I got to walk for about 45 minutes before my legs decided they were not going to keep up with my brain and I got lapped by an old guy. The girls want me to take them every time, which would be fine if it didn't cost me $6 each time. That adds up quickly. I told them I'd bring them a couple times a week, but if Daddy could watch them, Daddy will watch them. They didn't really like that answer... or me telling them that I wasn't stopping at McDonald's on the way home. Because they had already had dinner. And I spent all my money for child care. And they don't need McD's even if I had money and they hadn't eaten dinner. They think I'm just awful =)
My complete lack of desire to deal with reality lately has caused some major, and I do mean major, issues with the budget. To the point that Bill is insisting on getting involved. He's mentioned helping me out before, but he's pretty serious about it now. At least he's being very understanding. We haven't fought over money at all, and there has been plenty of opportunity for a good fight or two. He offered to take total control of it, but I told him I can't let it go completely. I'm too much of a control freak. Which sounds pretty stupid since it's way out of control, but at least I know it.
Basically, the past month has been crap. Kick in the teeth wake up calls all around. But the good news is that I'm not in a ball in the corner sucking my thumb. I'm trying to face everything head on and do what has to be done to fix everything I've screwed up. I'm hoping by the end of the year I'll feel like I have regained control of life in all aspects. This was supposed to be my "year of control" but it turned out to be just the opposite. It'll be OK though. Important lessons learned. Let's move forward.
I had to go to the doctor AGAIN today. I had an infection on my arm with some cellulitis, which freaked me out and I was afraid my arm would fall off if I didn't go because that's just my luck lately. So now that's all taken care of, or will be with the nifty ointment I have now. =p
When I went a few weeks ago to be diagnosed with diabetes, I didn't see my PCP... I saw one of his partners. So I had to go through all of it again today. He put me on Metformin... he said he puts everyone on it. Fine. I start it tomorrow. He also is sending me for labwork to check my cholesterol and warned me I'd probably end up on meds for that. He said he only has 2 diabetic patients who aren't on it because he feels it's very important to keep that in check because diabetes and heart disease come hand in hand a lot of times. So I'm looking at becoming a walking medicine cabinet. Joy of joys. But whatever I gotta do, right? Oh, and I mentioned that lately my feet get cold easily, and I've never been one to wear socks or slippers much, but I break out thick wooly socks all the time now. So I get to have my thyroid checked, too, because intolerance to cold is a symptom of thyroid problems. Not that I'm generally cold most of the time, because I'm usually the one complaining that it's hot... it's just my feet... but whatever. I swear, my body is just going to spontaneously combust on my 35th birthday in December.
I took the girls to the rec center for the first time tonight. I've been so afraid they'd be terrors, because at home they have been. But all went well. I got to walk for about 45 minutes before my legs decided they were not going to keep up with my brain and I got lapped by an old guy. The girls want me to take them every time, which would be fine if it didn't cost me $6 each time. That adds up quickly. I told them I'd bring them a couple times a week, but if Daddy could watch them, Daddy will watch them. They didn't really like that answer... or me telling them that I wasn't stopping at McDonald's on the way home. Because they had already had dinner. And I spent all my money for child care. And they don't need McD's even if I had money and they hadn't eaten dinner. They think I'm just awful =)
My complete lack of desire to deal with reality lately has caused some major, and I do mean major, issues with the budget. To the point that Bill is insisting on getting involved. He's mentioned helping me out before, but he's pretty serious about it now. At least he's being very understanding. We haven't fought over money at all, and there has been plenty of opportunity for a good fight or two. He offered to take total control of it, but I told him I can't let it go completely. I'm too much of a control freak. Which sounds pretty stupid since it's way out of control, but at least I know it.
Basically, the past month has been crap. Kick in the teeth wake up calls all around. But the good news is that I'm not in a ball in the corner sucking my thumb. I'm trying to face everything head on and do what has to be done to fix everything I've screwed up. I'm hoping by the end of the year I'll feel like I have regained control of life in all aspects. This was supposed to be my "year of control" but it turned out to be just the opposite. It'll be OK though. Important lessons learned. Let's move forward.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thoughts before bedtime
Diabetic education this morning. Ugh. Got a free meter though, so that was good. I don't think it's the kind with the cheap strips though, so you know, maybe not so good. We'll just have to see. The counselor was talking about Metformin, which is the oral meds I would go on if I can't control my diabetes with diet. And to be honest, she didn't exactly make me think it was something I wanted to avoid. It's cheap and has little side effects other than maybe lowering cholesterol and promoting weight loss. Not that I'm going to aim for meds, or anything. But since we checked my blood sugar 3 hours after eating a meal that was well within my limits... and it was too high... it may be something I will be looking at. =p
I really dislike my landlady. For real.
My hubby has been really excellent lately. Very supportive, even with as cranky as I've been. He's offered to eat whatever I need to eat. He's even offered to take over bill paying, because that is just something my brain isn't dealing with very well. I told him we can do it together.
I like his new schedule. To a point. He's always awake when I get up in the morning and I'm not a morning person. He likes to talk. A lot. Like the guy is afraid of silence. He even mumbles to himself when he has no one to talk to. I'm serious. So I get up and he just starts rambling on about... well, I'm not even awake enough to comprehend what he's talking about. He's just talking. And I'm trying to seem like it's not as annoying as it really is. I tried to explain it to him this afternoon, but I have a feeling that it won't change anything. Other than maybe him talking even more now that he knows it bugs me.
I've just been coo-coo roller coaster emotional lately. Pissed off at the world. Stressed out. That's why I'm just blah blah blah-ing right now.
I have this friend. And I was ugly to him a few days ago. I've been really upset with him anyway over things that happened years ago that just seem to come back around and bug me from time to time. He just sent me a little message to let me know he was thinking about me and I pretty much bit his head off. He called me to the table on it and I just told him I couldn't help how I felt and that I needed to just not have him in my life right now. I was pretty shocked I did it and even more shocked that I felt better after I did it. But then I had this horrible nightmare and I woke up and looked at my phone to see what time it was and noticed I had a message from him that was sent literally three minutes before. He said that he would still be around when I was ready and that if he had to deal with me lashing out at him 100 times he would. He actually suggested that I start blogging more, just to let off steam. So why not?
Anyway. I need the bed. I'm spacing out.
I really dislike my landlady. For real.
My hubby has been really excellent lately. Very supportive, even with as cranky as I've been. He's offered to eat whatever I need to eat. He's even offered to take over bill paying, because that is just something my brain isn't dealing with very well. I told him we can do it together.
I like his new schedule. To a point. He's always awake when I get up in the morning and I'm not a morning person. He likes to talk. A lot. Like the guy is afraid of silence. He even mumbles to himself when he has no one to talk to. I'm serious. So I get up and he just starts rambling on about... well, I'm not even awake enough to comprehend what he's talking about. He's just talking. And I'm trying to seem like it's not as annoying as it really is. I tried to explain it to him this afternoon, but I have a feeling that it won't change anything. Other than maybe him talking even more now that he knows it bugs me.
I've just been coo-coo roller coaster emotional lately. Pissed off at the world. Stressed out. That's why I'm just blah blah blah-ing right now.
I have this friend. And I was ugly to him a few days ago. I've been really upset with him anyway over things that happened years ago that just seem to come back around and bug me from time to time. He just sent me a little message to let me know he was thinking about me and I pretty much bit his head off. He called me to the table on it and I just told him I couldn't help how I felt and that I needed to just not have him in my life right now. I was pretty shocked I did it and even more shocked that I felt better after I did it. But then I had this horrible nightmare and I woke up and looked at my phone to see what time it was and noticed I had a message from him that was sent literally three minutes before. He said that he would still be around when I was ready and that if he had to deal with me lashing out at him 100 times he would. He actually suggested that I start blogging more, just to let off steam. So why not?
Anyway. I need the bed. I'm spacing out.
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