Monday, November 9, 2009

Conferences.... ugh.

Every year about this time, I have to go to a work-related conference. I work in the medical field, but I do office work. I'm not clinical at all. So 75% of what goes on at these conferences have nothing to do with me. And what does is super boring.

I totally forgot about it today. I got to work in my smurf blue scrubs, no make-up, hair all crazy (because there is no other look with this godawful haircut)... and said "Oh crap! I have that stupid conference." I had planned on looking like a human being and enjoy being able to fit in my brown slacks yet again, but no... baggy scrubs and psycho hair for me.

I ate my breakfast waiting on my coworker to get there. I considered taking my sandwich and apple for lunch, but they normally have grilled chicken breasts and salad for lunch, and I can work with that for lunch. So everything was set and I left for the conference.

I got there and had to explain twice that I had already eaten breakfast and therefore did not need a danish. The day started with Medicare updates, which is about as exciting as watching a slug cross the room. Luckily the monotone speaker from years before was replaced by a guy who actually had a slight sense of humor. The information was dry as a Triscuit, but he at least cracked a couple of jokes.

Then we got to the only reason I wanted to go... the motivational speaker. He was cute, he was hilarious, but I didn't feel all that motivated. But he was funny, so it's OK. I really did want some motivation though.

After that was a speaker talking about audits, which did pertain to me, but only made me realize that I REALLY need a new job. Boring, tedious, mind-numbing. Ugh. I felt like my brain was about to ooze out of my skull. My boss had driven the motivational speaker to the airport and when she got back, she asked, "Did you learn anything important from the speaker I missed?" Um, yeah. I need a new job! But no, I didn't say that. I just got a raise, I can't piss her off yet. LOL

Then it was lunch time. I was starving, because I normally eat lunch about 10:30 and it was noon. They took the covers off of the buffet servers and all I saw was this mass of cheese and grease. Seriously? Some kind of Mexican chicken enchilada casserole. Refried beans covered with like an inch of cheese. Mexican rice. Chips and cheese dip. Could they give us more cheese? Where is the boring chicken and salad I was counting on? I'm trying to lose weight here people! I don't want to eat a pound of cheese for lunch. I took little bits of stuff, but I'm sure if I could even figure out how to enter it in my food diary, it would be ridiculous. I'll just go on with the rest of my day as planned. Once upon a time I would have counted the whole day as an "off" day and eaten whatever I wanted the rest of the day, but I really intend to otherwise stay on track.

But what I don't understand is this... this is a HEALTHCARE conference. In a HOSPITAL. Catered by the HOSPITAL. And the food is completely and totally unHEALTHy. Danishes for breakfast, ooey-gooey cheese for lunch? That's just not right.

Lucky for me, I got to leave halfway through the next speaker, who was speaking about infection control. When she started, she had the coolest accent and I thought "oh, great, sure this speaker will be interesting and I have to leave." But she wasn't interesting. She read straight from her Power Point slides and, no matter how hard you try, MRSA and surgical site infections are not exciting. Disgusting, but not exciting.

Then I got stuck behind a truck painting lines on the road. AND a person driving 5-10 miles UNDER the speed limit. I got home just in time to scoop up Zoe and run to get Izzy from Mother's Day Out. And, on a tangent, I'm going to start calling it Father's Day Out. Bill is the only one getting a break from this. Actually, I need to call it Father Needs a Nap. Yeah, I think that's what I'll call it.

My brain is still not quite awake. Forgive me.

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