This isn't what I intended to write, but what came out instead...

Since I've started eating healthier and working out, I have to say that my raging PMS symptoms have died down quite a bit.  I've written about it before, but I'm not going to go dig it up.  I used to feel like I'd spend a week in a blind rage.  It was awful.  Now, my usual symptoms are just being fatigued and a little emotionally erratic.  Usually just to the point that I notice and realize what time of the month it is.  This week, though... I've been so exhausted non-stop.  Like, my husband making comments to me that "the last time you were this tired, you were pregnant."  I'm 99.9% sure that's not the case, by the way.  I used to be afraid of having a failed tubal, but it's been over 5 years.  I think we're safe.  (Coming soon.. the post where Jennifer has to eat her words!  Just kidding!)

In addition to being really tired, I've just been in a very low mood this week.  To the point that I specifically picked "Yoga for Depression" as my workout yesterday.  Before I did that, though, I was watching some Youtube videos by Elliott Hulse.  He's sort of a body builder philospher.  And nice to look at.  But, well... vulgar at times.  I don't mind, but I know a lot of people do, so be warned if you click that link.  He talks a lot about becoming a "stronger version of yourself" and not just in a physical sense.  But like I said, it's no-holds-barred and pretty male-centered... a lot of talking about your balls... but I think he's brilliant.

Anyway.  He had a few videos that mentioned a deleted video he had made of what he does when he gets depressed.  It was described as being very emotional, very raw, very strange.  Curiosity got the better of me, so I tracked down a reposting of the video (and felt kind of weird about it, like I was invading his privacy since he had deleted the original) and it definitely was all those things.  He is very into bioenergetics and body psychology.  Basically, it was him shaking and acting very feral with a lot of deep, powerful breathing.  Very interesting.  Very moving. 

After that, I went and found my yoga video.  I had never done this one before, and honestly... I thought it would be a lot of meditation and really easy stretches.  So not the case.  Imagine my surprise when she had me stand up on my mat and shake.  Just let go and flail around.  Then the Lion's Breath... deep, forceful breathing.  A lot like in Elliott Hulse's video, only.... how do I put this?... more civilized.  LOL

How crazy!  

And it helps, honestly.  I felt so much better after that yoga practice, kind of buzzing with energy and much lighter-hearted.  It wasn't as raw and emotional as Elliott Hulse's video, of course, but some people are just more raw and emotional than others.

Today I was back down again, with a side of anxious.  I managed to knock it out today with my run... 1.56 miles in 20 minutes.  Very happy about that =)  Exercise really is the best, most natural anti-depressant.