Going back to the beginning

Lately, I've been slipping.  Well, at first it was slipping but lately it's felt more like a full head over heels tumble downhill.

We'll just say the scale and I aren't on friendly terms.

I've been struggling for a while with my diet.  The more I'd struggle, the more I'd try to immerse myself in Paleo and "real food" blogs and information.  And I think I've just hit an information overload.  Man, I don't want to feel like every time I put something in my mouth that I'm poisoning myself.  Eat this, don't eat that, holy crap, that's going to kill you!  I'm not saying that I don't buy into any of that anymore, but there's just a point where the stress you create trying to be healthy is worse than the stuff you're trying to avoid, you know?  I'd sit down to make a menu for the week and couldn't think of a single thing I wanted to eat.  Food, in general, had become the enemy and that's just not how it should be.

I haven't been to the rec center in weeks.  My Fitbit is chronically pissed at me.  I've been doing my long run/walks, though, so at least I'm not completely sedentary, but I know from experience that when I get into longer distances that not being active during the week is going to make those hurt.  

I really wanted to get into strength training, too.  Good grief, that's boring stuff.  I just find no enjoyment in it.

So, there it is.  And it sucks. 

I had a little epiphany last week.  I read a book.  What book doesn't matter, just that I actually read a book.  I haven't taken the time to sit down and enjoy a book in months.  Once I went all hardcore with the weight loss, I just didn't have time.  And that's the problem...

While I enjoy working out (most of the time...), there are other things in life that I also enjoy and I've neglected them.  I hardly crochet, I hadn't sewn in forever, I wasn't reading.  It was 100% fitness.  And I justified that because it's important.  But so are the other things, because they make me happy, too.

I'm a very all or nothing person, unfortunately.  But I'm going to try to work on balance.

And I'm going to do things that make me happy.  

I'm going to eat things that make me happy.  I love hummus in pita bread, but I had avoided it for so long.... No grains!  No legumes!  Oh, shut up.  Yes, I'm still going to eat healthy, but I'm tired of trying to figure out "the rules."  I know what makes me happy and what is reasonably healthy and I'm going to eat it.  

And I'm going to go back to the very thing that started me off on this whole journey.  Yoga.  Yoga is great for strength...  why I thought I need to do Romanian deadlifts is beyond me.  This occurred to me the other day when my favorite online yoga instructor put out a yoga for strength training series on her membership site.  It was a definite "duh!" moment.  I love yoga, but I always let everything else get in the way.  

Yoga and running and walking.  But I'm not even going to stress about the running, though.  I do like running, I do like the feeling I get during and after, but if I can't run a billion miles, well - a lot of other people can't, either.  I love walking.  I love long-distance walking.  So mixing the two is good for me.  It makes me happy.


So.  There's that.  And it doesn't suck, I think.  It actually puts me in a much better frame of mind and doesn't make me want to go act like a vacuum in the pantry.

Now, since I've yoga-ed, and purged my brain, if you'll excuse me, Dean Koontz is calling my name.