Monday, February 14, 2011

Cranky Soapbox Moment

Happy Valentines Day!  To everyone who has a sweetie, I hope you cherish even the tiniest token of affection you got.  To everyone who doesn't - go pamper yourself... I'm sure you know how better than anyone else anyway.

So now, let me get to the part where I get all preachy and crabby...

I am so sick of women who define their happiness, or themselves even, by a man in their life.  It just screams out that you have no self-worth.  Trust me, no one enjoys the roller coaster of emotions you set off on every time you meet a man.  You're giddy and obnoxiously happy, planning your wedding within a week of meeting some guy, and then when he takes off because you're a smothering nutjob, you can't get out of the bed because your life is pointless again.  It's insanity.  A partner is someone who compliments your life, brings an added dimension... your life should be perfectly fine without them.  I've told Bill that he's in my life not because I need him, because I do not need him.  He's in my life because I want him to be there.  Plain and simple.  And to me, that should mean more.  I don't want someone to HAVE to have me in their life. 

On a similar note, do not change who you are for a man.  If you do not have a strong enough personality to still be YOU when you are in a relationship, you have no business being in a relationship.  I understand that being around a person, things are bound to rub off, and that's fine.  But when your religious views change... your musical tastes change drastically, you pick up habits that you condemned before.... maybe you really need to think about things.  If you as you are is not good enough, maybe that's not the right person.  It would be like me starting to listen to country music and watching RFDTV.   If someone didn't question that, the world is just going to hell.

I think a woman should know, without a doubt, that they can stand on their own two feet without a man.  Yet I know so many women who couldn't and wouldn't.  I don't think I'm some feminist.  I would say the same thing about a man, but it's rare to find a man who acts like that.  I just don't think a woman should get lost in the shadow of a man.  I guess I just come from a line of very strong, independent women.  I've tried to give this advice to friends in the past (in a nicer, less bitchy manner, mind you...) but it just goes in one ear and out the other.  I just hope I can raise my own girls to feel like I do... so that when they get married one day that they appreciate their husband as a partner, not as their reason for existence.

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