(that's Mother of the Year, btw...)
If I had to pick the one thing that consistently makes me feel like a bad mother, it has to be Olivia's ears.
Now, I know I'm not a bad mother, but everyone has their moments when you just feel like someone needs to stamp "FAIL" on your forehead.
Olivia has been plagued with ear infections her whole life. Not really all that unusual, but she never complains about them. I would take her in for just a routine check up when she was a baby and the doctor would look at me like I was nuts when I said she hadn't been fussy... because she'd have a raging ear infection. We finally had tubes put in her ears when she was about 20 months old. We didn't have many problems with the tubes, just some drainage when she was sick. And let me tell you, if you've never seen snot oozing from your child's ear, you're missing out on one of the finest parenting experiences. Gross.
In April of 2010, she had to have tubes placed again. Her old ones had fallen out after a good, long run (most of them fall out in a year's time) and she started having ear infections again. We were hoping she'd grow out of them by then, but it wasn't meant to be.
We have to go to the ENT doctor every six months to have her ears checked. Now, I'm not a big fan of our ENT. She was not my first choice, but the doctor I wanted wouldn't do the surgery where I wanted (where I work). I got really annoyed after our last visit when I got a bill in the mail. We paid our copay, but since she had seen the audiologist and the doctor, we were charged more. We weren't given the option and it was totally unnecessary since her ears were perfectly fine. So, when it came time for her check up this time, I was pretty grumpy about it. I almost just canceled it, but she has had some drainage lately, so I thought I better keep the appointment. Reluctantly.
Her whole office is very non-kid-friendly. No kids' magazines or book, no TV, no toys, nothing. Boring as can be for a 7 year old, especially when they are always at least a half-hour behind (even if you are the first appointment... ) We waited, with Olivia being antsy because she's bored, and me being cranky because I think this is just a waste of time and money and Olivia's driving me batty since she's bored.
Finally we get to the room and the audiologist won't check Olivia's hearing because of all the drainage in her ear. She said she'd have the doctor clean it up first. Then the doctor comes in and looks and immediately looks at me and says "well, have you had her treated for this?" No. The drainage didn't hurt anything before and she has not once complained of her ears hurting. Well, her ears are all kind of gross, tubes clogged, nasty infection going on. Of course. We have to treat her with antibiotics and ear drops (heaven help me... she hates ear drops almost as much as eye drops and she'd rather pluck her eyes out than have eye drops). Then in two weeks, the doctor will decide if she can just remove the tubes right then and there and just hope for the best or if she is going to need another set of tubes, in which case means surgery. For the third time.
I'm feeling like a moron for not taking her to the doctor when she had drainage to begin with. We maybe could have avoided the possibility of surgery if I had. I know the surgery is about as minor as you can get, but I still feel terrible that she's only 7 and is looking at maybe having her third surgery.
And then the icing on the cake.... Olivia and Isabelle have matching Hello Kitty sparkly shoes. Apparently they couldn't find a complete pair today, so Olivia was wearing two left shoes. Since she was dressed and in her jacket by the time I saw her today, I did not notice this until shortly before the doctor pointed it out.
Yup. I'm batting 1000 over here today.