Monday, November 21, 2011

Ugh... people

Here's a little soapbox moment from me...

I try very hard not to be judgmental towards other parents.  I try.... it doesn't always happen.  It's difficult when I see some of these parents who drag their 2 year old in for full-mouth dental work at my job not to be.  But I know that parenting styles differ as greatly as people do in general.  And it's none of my business. 

But not everyone tries to keep their opinions to themselves.  Especially on the internet.

I saw a video today about these two little boys who got into the flour and covered half the house in it.  Everyone was calling "hoax" and/or calling the mom a bad parent for being so calm about it.  "There's no way there would be such an even coating of flour."  "There's no way those kids could carry a 5lb bag of flour."  "It was up on the wall... there's no way they could have gotten it up like that.. and in clumps, even!"

A few years ago, Isabelle got a bag of powdered sugar out of the pantry and coated half my living room in it.  It looked just like that video.  There was powdered sugar on the ceiling.  And it wasn't even a full bag of sugar... a little powdered sugar (and flour) goes a long way.  Plus, my 3 year old can carry a full gallon of milk, which is heavier than a 5lb sack of flour. 

You know what my reaction was....


I was too shocked to scream or yell. 

I normally don't read comments on articles.  People are just ugly and I don't like getting worked up over how stupid people can be.  But, for some reason, I started reading the comments on this video.  They were horrible.  People just lose all sense of "being nice" when they are online sometimes. 

So, you know, I learned from all this that, according the internet population, I'm a bad mom.  Among a multitude of other reasons that I gleaned from CafeMom before I decided it was best for my mental well-being to stop dealing with that website.  Whatever.  At least on CafeMom the judgmental people were actual mothers and I would bet most of the people commenting on that article don't have kids.

Isabelle makes messes.  It's just her.  She's tried to make coffee for her Daddy using half my spice cabinet.  I found her making carrot cake in her bedroom one morning.  The powdered sugar incident.... and more.  I have had all kinds of reactions, across the board from being stunned into silence to screaming like a banshee.  She is just too curious and consequences be damned.  Am I a bad mother?  No.  I don't question that.  She's a handful, but she's hardly ever in trouble at school.  She's kind and helpful.  Do I need to find better ways of channeling that curiosity?  Absolutely.  But she's always going to be like this and, to be honest, I wouldn't change that.  I just need her to explore in ways that don't involve me renting a Rug Doctor when I don't even own a rug.

But, it did help to remind me about trying to not be so judgmental.  Yes, I can disagree with parents who give their kids so much candy and soda that their teeth rot before they are even all in, BUT they could be infinitely better at other aspects of parenting than I am.  I know there are things I do or let my kids do that people could take issue with, but I feel that I'm raising some pretty awesome kids. 


  1. I love the stories about your Isabelle. My parents tell me all the time the stuff I tried to pull when I was younger. My mom will jokingly say to my dad, "Bill, she's bad!" and he'd say, "she's just curious." I liked to "experiment" with stuff and it often ended bad. I went to college for engineering though, so I guess that's where I channeled my curiosity.

  2. When I was about four years old, my little sister (who would have been three) and I opened up our mother's entire stash of laundry powder (no liquid stuff in the 60's) and spread it out all over the basement every room, and even in the garage. There were about 6-7 large boxes, and they surely weighed at least five pounds each. We were wanting to make it mother was in complete shock when she found out, even our Dad was speechless. And I had a GREAT Mom.

    Agreed. The people who posted the nasty comments either have no kids, or have forgotten what it was like to have little ones. At least, it wasn't an unfortunate diaper exploring incident, my son did that a few years that would render anyone speechless!

    Mrs Darling

  3. I thought of you yesterday! Little A got up from
    a nap and E and I were still napping and she went and poured a whole box of chex cereal on the floor and the remainder of the cream of wheat onto the floor. I took pictures and laughed and Little A kept eating saying "mmm, good!" E
    said the one who finds it funniest cleans it up. Oh well! It's hard to not be judgemental, an then when it happens to you you realize what they went through. Especially nonparents, I believe they judge most harsh about parents.



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